When I was younger, I would be completely content with being in my room by myself for hours. I would play with my siblings (and other friends), but it would always be for short periods of time. My sister and I had a surplus of Polly Pocket dolls. Whenever we would play, my sister would set up the scene while I usually just started playing with the people. At some point, my sister would get bored and leave me to live in this world of plastic dolls. I would play by myself for hours on end creating stories for these figurines. In my eyes, nothing seemed wrong with being by myself.
As I grew up, I noticed it wasn't as normal for you to want to be by yourself. No one wanted to sit by themselves at lunch; no one wanted to play by themselves; it seemed as if no one felt the way I felt. I didn't know what it meant to not want to spend a lot of time with others. It just made sense in my brain that sometimes instead of going to a friend's house, I needed to stay home and read in bed.
Things became clearer when in eighth grade my teacher had us take the Myer's Briggs Personality Test. When I got my results, everything made a lot more sense. I got INFJ: Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging. There was finally a word for how I felt: Introverted. I quickly get drained when spending a lot of time with people. Even if I had a good time, I'm still exhausted and need time to recharge. In large social situations, I tend to stick to small groups or to be by myself for a minute.
Since I took this personality test in eighth grade, I have taken other tests to see if it has changed at all. It has mostly stayed the same. There have been occasions when I get ambivert instead of introverted. An ambivert is someone who tends to be in social situations; however, they still need time to themselves in order to regain energy.I still generally see myself as an introvert because more times than not I'm in my room watching Netflix instead of going out on a Saturday night.
For some reason, the word 'introvert' gives off a negative connotation to some people.
"Oh, you're an introvert? So you don't like people?" NO. That is not what being an introvert means. Just because you don't want to go out every single weekend does not mean you don't like people. It's important for others to understand that it is difficult to have social interaction 24/7. (Imagine being an introvert in a college dorm; it can definitely be challenging.) Sometimes, introverts need to stay in tonight, in order to hang out tomorrow. It is just how our lives work. It is important for introverts to have friends who understand the situation so they know you're not avoiding them on purpose.
If you're reading this and realize this applies to you, congrats! Being an introvert isn't something to be ashamed of. Embrace who you are so you can make new discoveries about yourself. Never be ashamed of who you are inside.
