Relationships are tough. They're work. They're heartache. They're time consuming. The idea of being in a relationship isn't as glamorous the “cutest couples" Twitter and Instagram accounts make it seem. It's not always like the movies. But if you've found someone who makes you not even question for a second why you put so much effort into the relationship and you can't bear the thought of being without them, you've got yourself a keeper.

This was not my case.

I was in a relationship for what amounted to a little over a year. It was a long distance relationship, and for a while, it was exactly what was described in the first paragraph. He was my best friend, and I wouldn't have questioned for a second whether or not the effort of long distance was worth it. I was even considering transferring to a school closer to home, and while I hate to admit it, my motives were due to my feelings about him. But as time went on, the relationship became tough, and I found myself starting to question things I hadn't before. And though I refused to believe it, he was questioning things, too.

I returned home for the summer after freshman year and figured whatever problems we were having were because of distance, and we were just taking our frustration out on one another. I figured we would be like we were in the beginning again, fully infatuated with one another and there was no question whether or not we should be together. I was naïve.

We were fighting about everything, and the negative tended to outweigh the positive in the relationship. We were experiencing a new feeling toward one another: resentment. But I couldn't bring myself to end things because he was my “person." I just dealt with it. I kept trying to act as if there weren't any problems, but I was miserable. While I cared about him immensely, I was emotionally exhausted. I didn't have the nerve to admit I was hurting, so we just kept arguing and making up and pretending as if it were a normal, healthy relationship. My mind was warped into thinking of how great the relationship was when it first started. Ultimately, I was holding onto the idea of him rather than what the relationship actually was in that moment. Not to mention, I was scared to be on my own and being with him was a source of comfort.

Eventually, he got the courage to end the relationship. At first, I was heartbroken. It's not easy having someone tell you that they lost feelings for you, especially when in spite all the arguments, I thought my world pretty much revolved around him. My ego was bruised. I put my frustrations in the the relationship aside and sported a not-cute "woe is me" attitude. I refused to admit that he wasn't making me happy. Rather, I thought my happiness depended on him.

Before this relationship, I was in what amounted to a 4-year relationship. I was never on my own. I was scared. It's a vulnerable place to be in—becoming newly single after a long relationship. However, after a dramatic haircut and about 9 months of heartbreak and feeling sorry for myself, I am finally starting to realize that change is good and it's OK to be on my own.

To say that there is light at the end of the tunnel is an understatement. Not only did I start to love my school and being away from home, but I found myself perfectly happy in the exact situation I was in at all times. I was present. When we were dating, I was never present. My mind was always wandering and longing to be where he was. I let it consume me. To be content exactly where I am is the biggest relief, and it's a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time. Now, hindsight is 20/20. Looking back on how long I held onto something that was clearly no longer there makes me sad for the time I missed to live simply and just have fun on my own.

Most importantly, and most cliché, I found myself.I had always been dependent on another person. I was insecure. But in the past 8 months, I have truly been more confident and independent than I thought imaginable. Not burdened by the need to text someone and tell them where I am or what I'm doing is liberating. If I want to do something, it's fully up to my discretion. Every decision I make and everything I do is with simply my best interest in mind, and it feels good.

To the next boy who is going to break my heart, I look forward to it. Because if this much good can come out of a silly minuscule teenage relationship, I can't wait to see how the next relationships continue to shape me into the person I am going to be.