"Forever - is composed of Nows -
'Tis not a different time -
Except for Infiniteness -
And Latitude of Home -
From this - experienced Here -
Remove the Dates - to These -
Let Months dissolve in further Months -
And Years - Exhale in Years -
Without Debate - or Pause -
Or Celebrated Days -
No different Our Years would be"
- Emily Dickinson
Time fades fast.
I am no longer a girl in pigtails, playing with dolls, and singing Britney Spears into my hairbrush while getting ready for my day. I am now forced to make decisions rapidly about my future. I have to ask myself questions about my resume, applications, whether or not I am applying for jobs out of state, and ultimately questioning when I will be able to pay off student loans. For the longest time, I wanted to be an adult. The question, "what do you want to be when you grow up" had no preference, all that mattered to me was that I would be grown up.
It is easy to say quit worrying so much about your future, but every decision you make is a key component of the person you will one day be. So, you must make all the right decisions right now; while maintaining some sort of childlike youth for the sake of one's sanity.
You have due dates for classes, appointments that are scheduled, dinner reservations, and an ultimate desire to be on time all of the time. But time is not real in the sense of numbers on a clock.
Time is in the memories of the past. The laughter and conversations with friends that were late at night when your parents had said, "it is time for bed." Time is false in the way that man has created it. I do not recall what time pivotal events happened in my life. I may remember the autumn breeze or the sounds that surrounded us when the stars had appeared in the skies.
The key piece that I have taken away from time, if anything at all, is that there is never enough. We are continuously stressing about deadlines for projects, when a test will be, and whether or not we will make it to work on time. However, in those moments of anxiety, we forget about those surrounding us.
How many times have I slept in after a long shift at work, only to miss spending the day with my nephew? My nephew who will be a child in school before I know it. Or spent days in bed binge watching Netflix and Facebook stalking. Social media has certainly become a product of wasting my time. The thing about time is that I find myself continuously wishing for more of it.
Because what if we had known how the stars would align for the fate of our realities? Would it change how we live our lives, spend our days, and waste our time?