Pokémon Go, the newest interactive game from Nintendo, has swept the world by storm. It's already beloved by fans, despite some glitches and flaws that have been pinpointed. But most remain blissfully unaware that Pokémon Go can change your life, and not in a good way. What I'm about to tell you might shock you.

This game is really hazardous.

Playing with this mobile app will put you in serious danger of catching the wanderlust bug. It may sound all pretty and fancy, but once you catch wanderlust, there's no going back. You'll never be at your house. You'll stay up all hours of the night. You'll even find yourself in the middle of fields, or the middle of a stranger's backyard. You won't want to come back home, but you'll remember exactly how to get there by the Pokémon map and the Pokéstops you've passed along the way. You'll want to explore parts of your city or town that you've never seen before. You might go to church more frequently just for the Pokéstop benefits. Close to Godliness, as they say.

Hand in hand with wanderlust, you'll be in danger of becoming the most physically active you've ever been in your life.

You will pant, sweat, huff, and puff, and you'll enjoy it. How sickening. When you go to the doctor next month, he's going to wonder why you've dropped twenty pounds. You might even lose thirty, forty, fifty, one hundred! You might wisp away to nothing, and soon you'll be screaming from your Pokéball to be let out....

Pokémon Go may cause interactions with other people. You heard me right. While you're on your quest to become the very best, like no one ever was, there might be dozens of people out there trying to do the exact same thing! To think you've been trying to avoid contact with other people your whole life, and in this one moment of weakness you've downloaded an app that will force you to cross paths with other nerds and introverts whose personalities resemble yours in an uncanny way. You may also be in danger of finding a Pokésoulmate, to have and to hold until health points you do deplete. It may not be a long romance, but it will be full of passion. Or it will be so strong that you'll end up becoming Team Rocket and being together forever, congratulations!

This mobile game may cause you to lose friends. We all know which team is best, and it's Team Instinct/Valor/Mystic. Wait, huh? Which one is best? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. You're on a different team? Well, clearly I can't speak to you anymore. And then there are the other friends, the non-nerdy ones. You know, the ones you used to go see movies with, or go out to eat with. You won't see them anymore because they won't be going to Pokéstops and to the gym. You'll be so sad that you'll cry a big bunch of crocodile tears, so many that you'll..... Actually, you won't be sad at all. You'll be super happy and crying tears of joy while swimming in a sea of Pokéballs. Like a boss.