We all have that one person we stupidly let slip through our fingertips, and for me, that person is you. No matter how many stupid love songs I catch myself mocking when they play on the radio, or how many times I want to jump between two people holding hands while walking to class, it all ends the same. And in this ending, it doesn’t seem to be so happily ever after for the girl who didn’t realize what she had.

There’s nothing that stings more than finally realizing what I want. But by this long overdue epiphany, you have accepted the fact I am not coming back and have moved onto bigger, more important things, including people who remind you just how unique and amazing you are, which is what you deserve.

The wasted time trying to find someone "new and exciting" to keep my mind busy now seems so incredibly irrelevant when you were just a phone call away the whole time.

You were my person, biggest pet peeve, first goofball to continuously make me laugh till my stomach hurt, constant getaway when things got rough, and ultimate best friend I had been waiting for my entire life, all wrapped into one.

Boy, you should have seen the look on my mom’s face when I told her she was finally getting to meet a boy I liked from school. Based on the extra enthusiastic response she gave, you would have believed she truly thought I was never going to bring someone home. I never did thank you for that.

It’s like Tori Kelly sings: “cause for the first time, I get worried when I’m looking in your eyes that one day, you might leave me and it keeps me up at night. I guess that means I really love you, cause I’m afraid to make mistakes.”

So here’s to you, the one to definitely prove that you can’t always get everything you want, no matter how many shooting stars you make a wish upon or how many times you luckily look at the clock right at 11:11 just in time to make a wish before the minute has passed. I still do have that old worn out t-shirt you gave me so I could think of you. I hope that’s OK.

I just want you to know. This letter is in no way intended to make you feel sorry for me. These words are not being written for that purpose. They are placed in black ink on a bright computer screen as my final way of telling you I understand now how irreplaceable you truly are.

In the end, all I want for you is happiness, and if that means it’s not with me, then I will smile and watch from the crowd. I guess this is what life is about, accepting that everything happens for a reason and believing in the power of fate.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life, all the late night phone calls talking about things that made sense to nobody else but us, accepting my crazy bipolar personality even when I didn’t deserve it, wiping away the tears from my puffy face when I cried in front of a boy for the first time, and teaching me that if you truly do love someone, you sometimes just have to let go.

Sincerely,

The girl forever wishing things were different.