You showed me what it really meant to be heartbroken, to have to pull over into the grocery store parking lot because I was crying so hard I couldn’t see the road. You were the one person that was never supposed to be hurt me yet you did, repeatedly.

I was always the girl that swore that it was possible to be best friends with a guy and it be completely platonic, no feelings whatsoever. “Just friends.” Yeah no. Not anymore. That changed. You made it change.

I went 8 months without talking to you afterwards and then you randomly messaged me and all of the emotions I had hidden came flooding back in.

But here’s the thing; it didn’t affect me like it used to. I used to think about all of our memories and get so mad at how our friendship ended. I used to cry myself to sleep because I was in a horrible place in my life because of you. You broke me. But I got up. I picked myself up and moved on. I found happiness in myself and in my God!

Proverbs 16:20

“Whoever gives head to instruction prospers, and blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD.”

Church was my refuge from how I was feeling. Reading my bible was my cure. I put all my trust in the Lord, I’m still not sure what your purpose was in my life and that’s ok. I trust that the Lord has a grand plan for my life and you were part of that. You taught me how to pick myself back up. But more than that you taught me how to love.

I look back on the memories that I have thus far and I am so thankful for all the good times and all of the bad. They are reminders that even when it's a hard time; even when I feel broken and defeated, I have a God that is mightier than all and his love for me is eternal.

So while you might have broken me I still want to thank you. Thank you for showing me how to love. Thank you for being my friend through some of the hardest parts of my life. Thank you for laughing with me, crying with me and making those years of friendship unforgettable. But more importantly thank you for NOT loving me the way I loved you.

You loved me but you weren’t ready for me. You still aren’t, and that's ok! You taught me that I have the strength to get up and keep going You taught me how to love myself and how to live my life on my own. Your actions helped point me towards my GOD who loves me more than anyone. When I was desperately seeking love and acceptance you aren't the one that gave it to me. My God did and that is the most beautiful thing I have ever discovered!