Patience. It's a virtue, right? That would imply that patience is something that enhances our quality of life. That it allows us to enjoy the now. That it relieves us of the pain of anticipation, of waiting. And all of those attributes would, in fact, be true.

And yet, patience is the hardest virtue to learn (speaking from personal experience here).

As much as I would love to characterize myself as a free spirit, I like a plan. I'm the one in the group message who plans out specific dates, times, and meeting places, rather than accepting a vague invitation to meet up. I'm the one who religiously writes in her planner and schedules out the week, month, and year.

So you can see as a logical conclusion, I hate waiting. I'm not good at it. I don't want to wait around for the next thing to happen, I want to make it happen. I want assurance that my life is going in a specific direction, rather than following a blind path.

But I'm pretty sure God has other ideas. See he has this beautiful plan for my life, that is exactly what I NEED (strategically didn't use the word WANT here). And you see, it's not on my timetable or in my control. And in some ways, that's a huge relief. It should allow me to let go of the worry, of the fear that my life won't turn out to be good or happy or beautiful. But in other ways, that's terrifying. It forces me to let go of control and learn to have patience, both things I'm terrible at.

But I truly do believe that there is true grace in waiting, in allowing my life to follow God's hand-crafted plan. So I'm working on patience, on waiting, on living in the now, and letting go of control. And that's so difficult, but is also guiding me to exactly where I need to be. And how dang cool is that??