It all started when I got to my college for the first night. I had one friend already (a girl I might add), and I set out to make a few more. My floor meeting brought me Nick, a cute guy who lived on my floor, and we wandered around together because my original friend was with some of her floormates.
We went to play Cards Against Humanity and I met Peter, Mario, and Tyvel. All four guys knew each other already, and I tagged along with them. My friend Alayna joined us eventually, and as the year passed we lost and added a few other members of the core friend group, but my point is, I’ve been surrounded by guys since the beginning.
I have yet to really come back from it. I have a couple of friends that are girls, and they are all amazing, beautiful women. But every now and again, someone will shame me. “Oh, your best friend is a boy? Didn’t your boyfriend mind?” (No. He did not.) “Aww. Bunch of boys, what do you talk about?” (Everything they’d talk about with each other, and shoes!)
I’m tired of silly questions, so I’m just going to answer as much as I can within this letter. My friends are guys, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of talking to me.
Tyvel has walked across campus in the middle of the night because I was in tears over another guy.
Mario has threatened to fight anyone who gets in my way (well, anyone, but then again, he’s at Penn State).
Peter is my best friend, and he would talk to me about anything. We watch a lot of the same shows, the same movies. He listens to my music and screamed for Jesse McCartney with me even though he didn’t know who he was screaming at.
And those were just the guys I knew freshman year.
The guys that I have met through board game club are a group of guys I wouldn’t trade for anything else. Of course, there have been girls who I met there, who are amazing, funny, and so good at everything. But you’d be surprised how often I’m surrounded by 15 guys who all look at me like I have some kind of authority. They treat me with respect, and where some people I know think it’s weird that I am in a board game club and even more shocked when they learn I run it, it makes me so upset.
My guy friends were the reason I went to the first semester of that club. My first semester, besides Alayna coming every once in awhile, I was the only girl there. Now, there are about 40 people that come. Most of them are guys. Most of them I consider friends.
I’ve moved past the point of feeling self-conscious when I talk about Kevin and Joe and Rico Louis, Criswell (Mike) and Carney (Mike #2). My relatives no longer assume I am dating any of them or have a crush on any of them (most of the time).
There was a time when having a lot of guy friends would have been weird for me. I would have thought of them like I think of my brother and we would have had a barrier. But now, things are different. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve walked home from parties with my guy friends at 2 a.m. and I trust them despite the world we live in. I have watched movies and done a face mask with my roommate while my friends are sitting on my floor. I have gone to video game tournaments and tried to understand some sports, and I’ve kept my interests afloat while respecting theirs.
My guy friends have taught me that my worldview is not always the right one. They've made me think about issues from another side. They've shown me that girls can be just as mean to guys as guys can be to girls. I've seen my friends coping with problems with tears and anger and emotion and all those things men aren't supposed to have. They've hugged me and told me they're glad of my help, sometimes.
People seem to think that when you’re friends with mostly guys, you’re one of the guys. But I’d like to think being friends with guys just makes me a more personable person.