First off, the answer to your question is “absolutely nothing." What question? That would be the one whenever you ask yourself “What is wrong with me that I’m still single?” Absolutely nothing is wrong with you, and you have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Now whether you have had some suitors come your way that never worked out, or you just can’t seem to find someone you click with, it’s hard to not question yourself sometimes. I know I have done it over and over again.

You can imagine that after asking myself this question enough times I had basically torn who I was as a person to shreds. The woman that I was so proud to have become had been diminished to some disfigured and odd creature that I imagined myself to be.

Now maybe you are saying to yourself “OK, but one time I said this” or “Well I could have done this action instead.” Yeah, you could have but you didn’t. So let’s start by taking a deep breath, and realize that you are going to do whatever action you choose in that moment, and you will never be able to recalculate that or undo it.

You will never know just the right thing to say, the action most appropriate, and most of all you will never know the response you will get. Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you to make every moment go exactly as it is supposed to: be yourself. And don’t question that for a damn second. To do anything uncharacteristic of yourself is to diminish yourself.

You are trying to be someone you’re not, and that is the greatest insult to yourself. So what if someone doesn’t love the corny jokes you make, isn’t infatuated with your hard work and no bulls**t attitude, or can’t understand your carefree attitude towards life? Forget them!

We are living at a time where everyone is growing. Some people are growing who they are and others are just discovering themselves. Some wish to walk alone while others need a solid support system.

While some are in the library until 3 a.m. on a Friday night, others are going crazy at whatever party they can find. But at the end of the day, we are all just trying to make this life exactly as we imagined it for ourselves.

Sometimes, you won’t make into a certain person’s picture. That’s heartbreaking for some people and easy to brush off for others. My point is that it really has nothing to do with you.

You know the classic saying “When one door closes, another one opens.” Well, I have a different version that a friend shared with me long ago, and which I think tells the story better. It goes “Don’t waste a minute not being happy. If one door closes, run to the next door, or break the window if you have to."

You are single, but you are not held down or back by anyone but yourself. Go find a hiking spot only you know about, send in 100 applications to any job you think you would love, spend late nights with family and friends, achieve everything you ever imagined. You are single because you have better things to focus on.

So stop asking “Why am I still single?” and start asking “What adventure will I have today?”