I've been you. I am you. I have felt the fear when you learn what is really going on. I have felt the guilt because you didn't pick up the telephone the first time. And I have felt the anxiety every time the phone rang after -- for months.

It's hard to stand by and watch; watch as your little sister has to go through this. It's hard to see your mother struggle with emotions of guilt and fear. But mostly, it's hard to talk about. When people ask, you don't know what to say. I mean, you barely have a grasp of what's going on yourself and now people want you to explain it to them? But you don't have to. You do not have to tell a soul about what is going on and that is okay.

Don't let people make you feel guilty because YOU didn't tell them. It isn't your job to inform every person you know. Your job is to be there for your family. Your mother is going to need comfort and your sibling is going to need your assurance because everyone's world is now turned upside down.

Once we know, we feel guilty. We should have saw the signs. We should have done something to help them and protect them. But the sad truth is, there isn't much you could have done. It is important that you remember that; because the guilt will begin to eat you alive. The moment the first thought crosses your mind, "how could I have not known," is the moment; it will never leave your mind. You need to move past that thought because as long as it's in your head, you won't be help to anybody.

You're never going to forget your mother's words, "she is in the hospital." You will hear her speak but those first words just keep playing in your head. It turns out, you didn't hear a single word she said after. And no matter how much time has passed, that day will feel like it just happened. The drive to go see her will feel like eternity and you will literally feel your world spinning.

You are going to stand outside of that hospital door, just staring, not sure what to say when you enter. And the moment you do enter? Well you are going to want to turn around that moment and just pretend this isn't your reality. But it is. Walking into the room isn't even the worst part. It is all the visitors you will get throughout the day. You may think you have yourself pulled back together, but the second someone else hugs you, you have lost it all over again. No part of day one is easy.

The days will get better though. You will learn how to talk to your sibling, and your family. You will begin to learn how to cope. Until it happens again. Don't think that the second time is any easier. It's not, it may be even worse. You were just on the verge of hope again, thinking your family can now have a normal life, and then your phone rings. There goes your life, turned upside down, again. You have to keep thinking, you made it through the first round, you can make it through this. I mean, it sucks. A lot. But she is a warrior and your family will survive.

It is okay to cry and be angry but don't let your sibling see. Be the strong person they need you to be. But in order for you to keep your sanity, you need to find someone that you can fall apart to. That is the only way you are going to survive.