If you’re not finding any luck in the dating field, or even if you just want to give your current relationship a quick checkup, this simple relationship rule can go pretty far. Relationships often boil down to selfishness vs selflessness, which can be a pretty tricky mess to untangle. See if my rule works for you, too.
When relationships fail, it usually comes down to one single factor that caused every following problem and argument- that at least one of the partners doesn’t care for the other more than they care for themselves. That’s the definition of love right there, to truly value someone else’s happiness more than you value and protect your own.
He cheated? He did it because he was more concerned for his short-term happiness than he was for your long-term happiness. She doesn’t prioritize you over her friends? It’s because it’s easier to make herself happy than it is to make you happy, and she doesn’t value you enough to put in the effort to make sure you’re comfortable. Any problem in a relationship can essentially boil down to this.
In an ideal relationship, each person is constantly striving to ensure the other’s comfort and happiness, while simultaneously enjoying the comfort and happiness being provided to them. This equivalent exchange of effort creates a yin-and-yang sort of harmony, reliant only on itself to be propelled into action.
You should love your partner enough that if being with someone else would make them happier than being with you, you’d rather see them be with that person than with yourself- because you value their happiness over your own. Hopefully, your partner would feel the same if the situation were reversed.