I have fallen into a trap. One that continuously goes round and round and round again. The one that starts with, "Once this week is over..." and it usually ends with me doing something relaxing. However, doesn't this kind of thinking inhibit us from living in the present?

That is where I have been living. The future. I have been overly concerned with what is to come, what is due, and what I have planned. I am no longer relaxed and living in a world where I am enjoying the place that I am at.

This has caused a deep longing in my heart. I used to call it my "wandering self" but I have come to realize that it deals more with dissatisfaction. I am no longer content with who I am, where I am at, and what I have. Sometimes this can be a push to do more in life, but for me it has been quite a negative. I find myself annoyed with how I can't "do anything" and I am forgetting about all of the blessings God has given. Man, discontentedness has really put me in a chokehold and will not let me go.

I was ready to be done with school because it was no longer exciting, and now I am not truly enjoying being home and being in the here and now. However, living life like that you miss out on the amazing things. You miss out on the fun adventures life has thrown in your lap and the funny stories that will make you laugh randomly some day. You grow ungrateful for the many great things that have happened, and you dwell on all the negatives because it never seems to add up to what is coming.

What is coming though? The future, yes. However, what is the future if not just pieces of the present being added up to make something happen. We can't truly appreciate all the amazingness that is to come if we are not living in the present and remembering the past.

For me there are amazing adventures in the works -- with my trip to Rhode Island, a trip to South America, and an amazing internship. However, instead of focusing on those things I should be able to be okay with hanging out with my brothers, cleaning out my ever growing inbox, and doing nothing. I should start on those projects that I keep pushing back until later. I should also cut back on my Netflix addiction and my love for doing nothing.

I am going to spend time with my family and live in the here and now. Focusing on what is around me and making memories that I can look back and learn from, laugh at, and enjoy. The present isn't something we should push back on, but something we should embrace. No more, "Once this week is over..." but instead, let's enjoy the moment.