I am sure you have all heard of the freshman 15. It is that dreaded weight that the people have warned you about. Even though we have had ample time to prepare ourselves for healthy eating and for the time we need to spend at the gym, it never seems to be enough.

I believed that I would never gain that weight. I went to college wearing a size eight pant and a size 10 dress. While I knew I could be more fit, I was comfortable with my size. Now, I am sitting here at a size 14/16, depending on the brand, confused and dumbfounded that I let it get this far.

After I returned from my freshman year, I knew I had gained what had been dubbed as the freshman 15. I had went up a pant size, and my old shirts were just a bit tighter around my midsection. I heard the occasional remarks that I had gained that dreaded 15 pounds that I had constantly worried about. I knew that I had dropped the ball at school. I had tried to stay healthy at the dining hall. Opting to eat salads, and if I did decide on a slice of pizza or a burger, I made sure to add tons of veggies and forego the soft drinks and desserts.

Unfortunately, I was not able to eat at the dining hall for every meal. I was then forced to eat at the various fast food places on campus. There was not much variety. We had a Chick-fil-A, a grill that served pizza and burgers, a wing place, and a Baja Fresh (even though that this seemed to be the healthy choice, their portions were huge). As the year dragged on, I stopped going to the gym on the regular. Instead, I forced myself to believe that the two-mile walk to class would do the trick and keep the weight off. I was wrong.

I did not return to University after that first year. Instead, I opted to attend classes at the local community college. While there, I lost most of the weight that I had gained at school. I was feeling better about my weight and myself. Of course, most of the weight loss could be attributed to the fact that all, or most, of my meals had been cooked at home. While there was the occasional fast food or going out to eat with the family or friends, we tried to eat mostly at home. I could control the portions and the fat content. My sister, mom, and I did join a gym. To my mother’s dismay, I did not go as much as I should have. Most of that was self-esteem. I did not want to compare myself to the gym veterans who were there on a regular basis. Most of me knew that I should not feel that way. I was there to get healthy and they would understand that.

I also got a job. I hoped that I could lose some of the weight because I would be off of the couch most of the day. It helped somewhat, but unfortunately I worked at a mall that had a food court. Even though I told myself that I should bring my own lunch to keep up with the weight loss, I did not. I chose, instead, to eat from the food court. I gained half the weight back. I was devastated, but I did not change my ways. I still ate in the food court every day that I worked.

After I finished at the local community college, I was accepted at Troy University. I was determined this time that I would not gain any weight. Boy, was I wrong. I started off in the right direction. I drank mostly water. I ate smaller portions, and I went to the gym. However, with the stress of my upper level classes, I gave up. I stopped going to the gym, and stopped caring about the food I was ingesting. I have gained more weight in the last year in the half than I thought was possible. Because of this my self-esteem has suffered.

I wish that I could go back and teach myself more about nutrition and fitness. I wish that I could go back and spend more time in the gym, or even just walking around campus. The freshmen 15 is not a joke. It is something that a lot of us students carry with us the rest of our lives. I want anyone out there that is struggling with the same problems I have had to know that you are not alone in this. Most college students go through this, and most are experiencing it with you. Just remember that even though we cannot change the past, we can determine our future.

I am here to make a vow. I am going to start taking care of my health from this moment on. I know that I will probably mess up. I know there will be days that I will want to give up and eat the food that is bad for me or drink the soft drink I know I should not have, and that is okay. I am not perfect. I am a human. I am going to love myself again. It will just take one step at a time.