Everyone tells you that you’ll meet the love of your life in college.

Now while this is only true for certain people, many college girls know by this point in the semester that there are certain guys you’ll meet who seem like they really could be the one. And with Thanksgiving, or if you read my previous article “pre-Christmas”, coming around next week, cuffing season really does kick in and that desire to be in a relationship around the holidays only grows stronger.

That said, just for kicks and giggles, here are the five guys you will meet or date in college as told by the types of food you’ll eat on Thanksgiving… fun, right?

1. Turkey

I think every college girl has met this guy before. This is the dude who makes a HUGE deal about himself. He’s constantly on social media showing everyone the gym gains, bragging about how he gets all A’s and doesn’t even try, laughing with his friends about all the female conquests he’s picked up over the years. This is the guy who thinks and acts like he has it all, like he’s the epitome of the perfect guy… when in reality, his personality ain’t all that great. He may act like he’s the real deal, but when you get to know him you discover that his whole persona is a fake and he has no richness of personality or any depth to his character. A bit like turkey, he’s kind of bland on the inside and totally not living up to the hype. You wouldn’t find it completely horrible dating him, but there are certainly better fish in the sea.

2. Mashed Potatoes

This is the guy you’ll date whose true self comes as a surprise to everyone. He might not be the most attractive physically and from an outside perspective, it seems like he’s kind of a mess. He’s got a whole slew of outer issues that everyone notices right away and this makes him a bit difficult to approach at first. However, just like mashed potatoes, his outer issues don’t even compare to his inner self and once you take the plunge, he proves that he’s actually a pretty great guy with a sweet personality.

3. Cranberry Sauce

This is the guy who’s the complete opposite of mashed potatoes. He may look like he’s got it all together on the outside. He’s attractive, he’s a smooth-talker, he’s incredibly sweet to everyone he meets. However, once you actually go on a date or two with him, he proves that that is the full extent of his personality. He has no real depth of character, he can’t say anything to you of real meaning, and ultimately you know that he’s not good for you in the long run. While he’s fun to hang around as a friend, you don’t want to get involved with him on any more serious level… because serious is not in his vocabulary. Like cranberry sauce, all his good qualities lie in the appearance and initial impression. After that, there’s not a lot going for him.

4. Stuffing

The stuffing guy is a bit like the mashed potatoes guy, just on a deeper level. This is the guy who seems like he’s a little too much of a hassle to date. He has a very complex personality and there’s a lot going on in his life so you may be a bit nervous to jump fully in. However, once you do you find your efforts rewarded because there’s so much substance to him as a person. While he’s definitely complex, you’ll find that you love the complexities and that dating him is one of the best things you could have done. Like stuffing, his quality is certainly found on the inside. Not only is he a pleasant experience in general, but every tiny detail that goes into making the whole person is beautiful.

5. Pumpkin Pie

Spoilers, this is the keeper. This is the guy who looks amazing in every way on the outside and on the inside, does not fail to disappoint. You can tell on the outside that he’s attractive, smart, funny, and has good prospects. When you get to know him, though, the things that you like about him only increase. On the inside, he’s sweet, can handle having meaningful conversations with you, shares your interests, and isn’t afraid to share the real reasons behind why he’s interested in you. I know, I know, this is reading a lot into pumpkin pie, but come on…. it’s pumpkin pie. What’s not to love?