Being on a college campus has made me more determined and ambitious than ever, but it has also created some underlying fears that I never anticipated I would have: the fear of wasting my potential.
When I arrived here, it seemed as though the whole world was left wide open in front of me, almost like a blank canvas waiting for me to paint my idealistic picture that would be the rest of my life. The pressure to do something great or to be an iconic figure is seemingly looming over my head. I realize that I have almost three and a half years left to figure out what field I want my future occupation to be, but for me, it has always been different. It has never been "what occupation will make me the most money?" or "what occupation will make me the most recognizable?" Instead, it has always been "what occupation will allow me to make a meaningful difference?"
While I see value in so many career fields, I could never have a job where I am constantly working to benefit myself. I realize that personally, I will never feel fulfilled until I am using my potential for something beyond myself. And that is where this underlying fear comes to haunt me.. the process of figuring out what career screams my name in order for me to start making an impact.
For years, I have listened to people tell me that I will be president one day and several people in my senior class even signed my yearbook by saying that they will see me in our political system someday. I am not writing this to express that I believe I am deserving of power of such magnitude, but I feel an immense sense of pressure to succeed, not only for myself, but for the people that know me too. So, maybe I am afraid I will disappoint. Maybe I do not even fully understand my potential.
All I know is that somewhere, sometime, someday, I want to make a difference in the lives of others; I have no idea what that means for me, or what path life will lead me on, but I am ecstatic to figure out my true mission and purpose.
I know life is not perfect, and I fully believe that everything happens for a reason. And I believe that in due time, I will find whatever it is that allows me to be impactful in this world. Until then, I refuse to let my underlying fear to burden me, but instead, I will use it to empower me and motivate me to find whatever it is that fuels my passion and sets my world on fire.