After my last major heartbreak, I swore that I would never fall for someone again. I swore that I would never need anyone but myself. I convinced myself that having feelings for someone was weak. I vowed that, from that point on, I would always be strong. If there's one thing that my last major heartbreak taught me it's that, no matter how great someone seems or is at first, caring is never worth the risk.

The reason why we’re so afraid of catching feelings is because even though letting down your emotional barriers creates an opportunity for love and happiness to come into your life, it also creates an opportunity for pain and disappointment to destroy you. We choose to keep our walls up and block everything out because numbness feels safer than pain.

But is it really better to live a life of apathy than to accept whatever emotion you’re feeling and know that it’s all a part of the human experience?

Some people will tell you that allowing yourself to feel is better because eventually after you (proverbially) kiss all the frogs, you’ll find your prince; the one who’s worth taking a risk for. Other people will tell you that none of it is worth the risk.

What I’ve learned after going through all of the stages of heartbreak - realization, sadness, anger, bitterness, and acceptance - is that there are people in your life who aren’t worth crying over and there are people in your life who are. The hard part is figuring out who’s who. Some people mean the world to you, but then they change or you change and suddenly they’re not anymore. Some people aren’t worth a second thought, but then they change or you change and suddenly they are.

My anxiety hit its peak towards the end of my junior year of college, and I spent every second of every day living in fear. The basis of my fear was the prospect of death, not feelings, but fear is fear and I’m tired of being afraid. Fear doesn’t protect you. It just keeps you from being happy. I don’t want to be afraid of something as basic and essential to the human experience as emotions.

Besides, how can I say that I’ve truly moved on if I’m still letting the pain of my last heartbreak affect how I interact with others? The answer is that I can’t. I can’t genuinely say that I’ve moved on until I let go of every bit of pain that I felt when that person took my heart and ripped it in half like it was a piece of paper.

The truth is that you’re going to get your heart broken a lot in life - and you'll probably break your fair share of hearts as well, although not necessarily on purpose - but you can’t let it stop you from living. You’re not letting the pain go because whoever hurt you deserves peace. You’re letting the pain go because you deserve peace.

One of the most important things to realize about feelings is that everything passes eventually. It sounds lame, but it's true. I think that's one of the things that's really messed me up in the past; thinking that the pain I was struggling with would never go away. It does. I can't tell you how long it'll take, but trust that one day it'll be better