The 'F' Word No One Talks About

The 'F' Word No One Talks About

You deserve to forgive them

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I recently shared on Twitter that I was embarking on a “Forgiveness Journey." This was inspired by my wonderful mother, who always knows best. She encouraged me to do this after I casually made a sly remark to her about someone who I had a conflict with over a year ago. She could sense the hurt that was still in my heart from what I tried to disguise a simple comment.

No, this post is not all about how wise my mom is. Although, I could do an entirely separate post about that.

I began keeping a journal. Every time an evil thought about someone would pop in my head, I would write their name down. Then, I'd go back and write everything they did that made me feel angry, sad, left out, etc. I ended up doing this with anyone, from the ex-boyfriend who cheated on me to the girl who left me out of plans freshman year. It was astonishing how many people I still had bitterness towards. I mean some of these people I hadn't spoken to in like 4+ years.

After identifying how they hurt me, I'd write out why I was choosing to forgive them, not why they deserve forgiveness. Because let's be honest, we all want to be forgiven. But the last thing I want to think about when I just revisited the time Chad from the baseball team pinched my side and called me “tubby" is the fact that he deserves forgiveness because Jesus forgave us.

I know it's true…But no thanks!

What I can realize is that I should forgive Chad from the baseball team, because I deserve it.

Sometimes I'd find myself walking in fear among specific groups of people because I knew they'd bring up someone who did me wrong. Often, people want to make sure you're okay after someone hurt you, but it just ends up becoming a sequel of what ticked you off in the first place. I felt as if I had to say something about that person. Like it was my duty to solidify what kind of person they were because of something they did to me (big or small). Confession: Sometimes I wouldn't even want to talk about them, but I definitely didn't want people to forget what they did to me (WHY??), so I'd talk about them anyways. What I realized is that there is a lot of pressure that comes from being THE judge of character for everyone, & it was a job I did not want anymore. Fortunately, I didn't have to hold this self-proclaimed title!

I mean, I had anger towards people I've spoken to, maybe once or twice. It positively was not affecting their day-to-day so why should I let it change mine?

I'm not saying there isn't a season to hurt and be angry. There is. Sometimes that process takes serious time.

When that season ends, however long it takes, you may notice a couple of things indicating it's time to let it go:

  1. When you begin talking about the person or the situation, you can't stop.
  2. You find yourself wondering if that person thinks certain things about you (good or bad).
  3. You've mentally planned out a 3 part series of how you would've stood up to them if you knew what you know now.

You could keep doing all those things, or you could have a million other things with your precious and valuable time. You could focus on the people in your life who treat you right. You could make new memories that will make the bad ones fade away. There are so many beautiful ways to forgive, and ultimately, move on.

They weren't thinking about you when they hurt you, and they're not thinking about you now. Someone's inability to see your value doesn't negate your worth. You deserve the love that person refused to give you. The opportunity to feel appreciated is all yours.

Forgive them for forgetting them.

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20 Fun Facts To Use When Introducing Yourself

As we embark on the semester, we are put on the spot in order to share interesting details about ourselves. This article discloses possible fun facts to tell others!
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After experiencing my first week of classes, I have learned that every student needs a handy-dandy list of fun facts about themselves to tell other people. Many professors use the first couple of classes to learn about their students, so you may need to think about who you are and how you want to introduce yourself to your professor and classmates. We all have that one go-to interesting fact about ourselves, but sometimes you just have to mix it up!

1. My favorite hobby is...

What do you do in your free time? Personally, I love to stay active! I am a competitive Latin dancer and enjoy teaching and taking Zumba classes, going to the gym, and hiking.

2. I love...

Is there something, someone, or somewhere that you love? What makes your heart ache? What do you miss when it's gone? I can say that I love my friends because I feel my most confident when I'm surrounded by those who love and support me.

3. I look up to...

Is there someone you adore? Who mesmerizes you? Who do you wish to learn from? After watching "A Ballerina's Tale," I discovered Misty Copeland. In 2015 she became the first African American ballet dancer to become the Female Principal Dancer at American Ballet Theatre. Her passion, grace, and strength continuously motivate me to better myself as an athlete and an individual.

4. This art speaks to me because...

Coco Chanel said, "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." This encourages me to always follow my heart no matter what. I will never follow society's standards and norms because they do not define me. Chanel's saying definitely influences my character and lifestyle.

5. A funny and/or embarrassing memory of me is...

When you make others laugh they want to spend time and make memories with you! Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You will come off as down to earth, easy-going, and loyal.

6. My siblings or lack thereof influenced me by...

I can go on and on about my brother, who is 10 years older than I. We have opposite personalities and despite the age gap, we're quite close.

7. My pet(s) are my life because...

Only sad people don't like hearing about furry creatures, even if your pets are slimy and slithering creatures all human beings enjoy hearing pet tales!

8. I'm afraid of...

Your personality can be revealed by your likes and dislikes, including the things that you fear. I am terrified of change and the unknown, hence, the future is an anxiety-inducing topic to discuss for me.

9. I am the way I am because...

What have you gone through in life that has shaped you into who you are today? Remember to be open minded and allow yourself to open up to your peers. You may be surprised by how others respond and/or what others have endured as well.

10. The most unusual item that can be found in your dorm...

This is a fun fact about yourself that can easily liven up an awkward conversation. Think about your quirks and differences! One item I have in my dorm is my teddy bear, Peter, whom I like to joke is my boyfriend.

11. My dream job is...

In college, "What's your major?" is a widespread question. Nonetheless, skip the boring statement of "I'm majoring in..." and go in depth on what your dream job is (hopefully your major factors in to this dream of yours).

12. My hidden talents are...

Angelina Jolie is a knife thrower. Kendall Jenner can produce bird noises. Amanda Seyfried can crochet and knit. Is there anything special you can do? Some people have rare and unique talents, maybe you can think of some hidden talents of your own!

13. My guilty pleasure is...

I will say it a million times: don't be shy when introducing yourself to new people! I'll start by divulging my guilty pleasure: Youtube's family vlogging channel, "OKBaby"!

Check them out: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvUCbnwzySKgbKiB_...



14. Some activities on my bucket list are...


This is an easy way to grab people's attention and find others with similar desires as you. Be an adventurer! Go out of your comfort zone!

15. Talk about your best friend...

How would your best friend describe you? What do you love to do with your best friend?

16. Talk about an accomplishment of yours...

You are incredible and have achieved so much! Reveal something that you are proud of — show off a little!

17. This one time at my job...

Bosses breathing down your neck. Curious coworkers asking personal questions. Cursing customers who never leave you alone. Your job can be filled with tons of hilarious situations that can easily entertain a crowd.

18. During the summer...

Any scars with stories? Any summer flings? Any lessons learned from the tanning too long? Now that summer is over, disclose memories that can leave positive impressions on others.

19. I volunteer at...

Do you do any community service? Share a funny moment while you were volunteering. What did you learn while there? Would you continue?

20. [blank] is meaningful to me because...



What do you appreciate in life? What brightens your day? What makes you fall in love? What does someone have to do to make you smile?

Finally, remember to be outgoing! Reveal that three-mile smile and open your arms to learning about others. Spread smiles, love, and happiness.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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20 Things I'd Do If The Concept Of Time Was Abolished

If only our lives weren't limited by time.

amrojas
amrojas
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Recently, news outlets have been reporting on how the people of Sommarøy, a Norwegian island located north of the arctic circle, would like to remove the concept of time. This is largely in part due to the fact that the sun does not set during much of the summer nor does it rise during the winter. The inhabitants of Sommarøy do not have rigidly separated days and nights like the rest of the world and can be found doing normal daytime activities at 2 am in the summers.

They also would like to take clocks out of their society. Although this lifestyle might seem impractical to the rest of us, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to live in a world where time is irrelevant, in regards to the concept AND the physical effects of its passing. This newfound information gave rise to ideas of things (some simple, some whimsical) I'd do if the concept of time did not exist and we had as much time to do the things we wanted.

1. Live on a ship at sea.

2. Watch a flower grow from a seed to its death.

3. Apply as much makeup as desired without being late.

4. Retake my favorite college courses and participate as fully as I possibly can, including the completion of every single reading and film.

5. Take a non-stop trip through every country in the world.

6. Learn to play and fully master every single musical instrument in existence.

7. Watch a full rotation of Earth around the sun from space.

8. Live by myself in a cabin at the edge of the woods a la Thoreau.

9. Reread every single book that shaped my childhood.

10. Have a brief conversation with every old friend.

11. Re-drink that first sip of the perfect cup of coffee.

12. Observe how the tides change with the lunar cycle.

13. Learn as many languages as possible.

14. Sit at the beach and listen to music for days.

15. Train for an Olympic event.

16. Write a detailed, thorough analysis of every track in my favorite movie soundtracks.

17. Take a photo of every interesting place I visit and every little nook I find peace in and make a physical photo album.

18. Cook food without burning it.

19. Watch a star's life cycle from birth to death.

20. Replay the feeling of coming home.

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amrojas

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