By now, the news of Warped Tour having its last hurrah has made its rounds across the internet and it's left me feeling... a lot. In a lot of ways, Warped represents the culmination of all these different things that make me who I am. I've found friends in mosh pits, I've tossed friends so they could crowd surf. I've linked arms with perfect strangers as we screamed our lungs out with our favorite bands.
I've left blood, sweat, tears, and a shoe in those mosh pits.
I've watched bands chase their dreams from the small stage to headlining world tours.
I've chased my own.
I'm still the same punk kid I was back then.
So as I look back on all the times I've spent roaming around those festival grounds, I can't help but return to feeling like a lost boy, roaming the Neverland of my memories.
I went to my first Warped Tour in 2008. Crammed into the back of Tyler's mom's SUV were a bunch of shaggy-haired, neon-clothed teens ready to take on the world. And we did. From the mosh pits to crowd surfing, all the way to 3OH!3 giving us all cans of their special edition Monster Energy water (it was just water in commemorative Monster cans), it felt like we were invincible.
Emily still tells the story of how I broke her basketball hoop when we came home.
I remember going to a Warped Tour a few years later, alone. I had a backpack full of CD's I had burnt myself comprised of two songs I recorded with my friend Brett. Wrapped around my neck was a pair of headphones attached to a CD player in my pocket. I asked everyone and anyone to listen to my music and take a CD, even getting the band "Go Radio" to take a copy.
I was so proud of myself. I think who I am today would be a disappointment to who I was.
There's a contact in my phone under the name "D." Nothing else, just "D." I met her in line to meet a band we both liked. We hit it off and went around to a few shows. I showed her my favorite band "The Wonder Years". We were right up front, pressed against the rails.
The show ended and it was time to go. She put her number in my phone and told me to call her. It turned out that she was only in Minnesota to visit her cousin. She was going back to Arizona the next day.
I never called.
Tyler, Conner, and I would talk about how we were going to make it there one day. We dreamed out loud and took silly mirror pics in a McDonald's bathroom, but we knew we'd one day be on the main stage as hundreds - thousands - of friends and fans sang along to our music. We were young and naive, but damn do I miss that conviction.
Warped was more than just a full day of shows. It was more than just a music festival. Warped Tour was a place where all of us misunderstood emo kids, punk kids, outsiders, lost souls, and wanderers could gather together and be unashamedly us.
It was home.