Last weekend was a nightmare. At least, the driving home part was. This was massively unfortunate considering how the entire week leading up to it had been a nightmare, too. With all the tests, papers, and angsting over grades you just realized you have no way of salvaging. However, as we've learned, the weather and the roads care little for our plights, and they will conspire against us to make us have the most inconvenient and terrifying ride home for break as possible. At least, this was what happened to me and a lot of my friends. Comparatively, I didn’t even get the worst of it, though I did come remarkably close to a disaster or two (or five, actually) due to the ice and the stupidity of others.
It wasn’t just the weather conspiring against me that day, though. Incidentally, that was also the day that my iPod decided to unleash its sick sense of humor. To be honest, though, it’s probably my own fault since it likely learned everything it knows from me. Basically, it took every chance it got to torture me by playing several unfortunate songs at the most opportune times. What I learned during my ride back home — aside from how to talk myself down from a panic attack and how to avoid veering off the road when my tires/breaks decide to fail me — was that my iPod is one twisted SOB. The following are some examples which I hope you can enjoy and laugh at, despite the horror you likely endured.
1. "Safety Dance" – Glee Cast
First of all, shut up. I loved Glee. In my weaker moments, I still do. Hence why this song remains on my iPod (well, that and it’s just kind of a jam, okay?). Of course, while the song itself has very little to do with safety of any kind, it still felt like a personal attack when I was in possibly the least safe situation I have ever been in.
2. "Don’t Stop" – 5 Seconds of Summer
Again, I can hear you laughing, so just leave me alone. I love this stupid band with all my heart, alright? Anyway, this song was particularly painful to endure as I sat for upwards of an hour in traffic, completely stopped on Highway 61. Don’t stop, you say? I would love to. Actually, maybe I’m lucky it didn’t come on when I was literally unable to stop when I was sliding off the road. Huh.
3. "Winterbreak" – MUNA
This one has less to do with the tortures of the icy highway and more to do with the weird timing of it all. This song came on immediately as I pulled away from my apartment to head back home. At the time, I thought it was probably a good sign. In retrospect, it was setting me up for the disappointment that break would not start off at the high point I anticipated.
4. "Can’t Go Back Now" – The Weepies
This was a particularly painful taunt as I was truly unable to turn around by the time I realized how bad things truly were. Way past the halfway point, I was forced to accept that I was just going to have to keep on going, and then, of course, this song came on to pour more salt into the open wound.
5. "This Must Be My Dream" – The 1975
My series of roadway disasters was, in fact, hardly a dream; it was actually a nightmare. I can only imagine this being a dream for how unendingly absurd it was. Actually managing to make in home pretty much unharmed was the true dream. I still can’t quite believe it.
6. "Hold On, We’re Going Home" – Drake
Ha. Ha. Ha. Oh, ha. I probably don’t have to go into much detail with this one, but here it is anyway: I had been trying to go home. I had been trying to go home for hours. I could not possibly just hold on anymore. I had been holding on—quite tightly—to my sanity and my steering wheel for quite some time, caught in stopped traffic on the highway. But, like, Thanks for the reminder.
7. "If I Could Fly" – One Direction
You really couldn’t expect me to make a list of songs from my own personal collection without including One Direction, could you? Regardless, this song was a bit bittersweet when it came on because although, if given the ability to fly, they would go right back home to the object of their affections. If I was given that ability, though, I would have abandoned my vehicle on the side of the road and, cold weather be damned, flown straight home for hours. Or at least to a hotel. Or maybe even an IHOP. Anywhere would have been better than that.
Sorry about the miserable start to winter break, hope you all stayed safe and have a great holiday!