"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18-20
Religion has always been a very hard topic to discuss especially in this day and age. It seems like slowly people are starting to not believe in God anymore. With everything that is happening in this world, I guess they have 'reason' to but I, myself have full faith there is a God. So for the people that don't believe or even lost their faith I do not judge you, I will not hate you or try to throw a Bible at you, I will simply tell you what I believe is true and I have faith that one day we are going to walk the streets of gold alongside our father. If you decide to disagree then that is fully up to you because God has given us free will, you make your own decisions and as will I.
But aside from that I technically didn't grow up knowing who God was. Well, maybe I shouldn't say it like that because I did know who he was because at night I would pray to him. I grew up bouncing from church to church and most likely daydreaming while at church because as a kid I wasn't always in 'reality'. I was a very awkward quiet kid, I still am so when my mom said we need to pray to a man in the sky I did, not fully understanding who exactly I was praying to or even if this man was listening. By the time I hit eleven I was struggling with self-esteem and other really hard personal issues, by that time I forgot to pray to the man in the sky.
Then came the time I was thirteen I was in this very dark spot in my life where I just didn't believe in anything I was just trying to get by. I was angry at the world and myself. So one Sunday morning I was woken up to go to a new church we were going to try out. Being woken up at nine in the morning on a Sunday I was aggravated but of course, I got up to go. The big banner on the church said "New Life Comunity Church" I remember not fully understanding the meaning of the name, but now I do. I walked into this church and found a seat there was a band playing loud Christian music around this time I considered myself to be "emo" so I wasn't as pleased with the music. I sat there and daydreamed for the past few weeks until one service I was doing my regular daydreaming when my thoughts were suddenly interrupted when I heard the paster say something that caught my attention. He spoke about having baggage and being stuck in a depression. He told stories in the Bible how people overcame and not to be ashamed of the past you have. I don't particularly remember the full service or the exact words that were said but I remember how it affected me. I remember crying because I finally felt the peace in the words that I needed to hear. when the service was over he said for anyone that wants to be saved, and accept Jesus as their personal savior to say this prayer with him, so I shut my eyes and prayed. As I opened my eyes I was waiting to feel something different but I didn't feel a warmth or hear someone speaking to me like others have said they did when they found God.
Instead, I felt a little peace in me - nothing big, nothing magical - but there was something.
That night I sat in my bed and I prayed after months of not praying, I prayed to the man in the sky again, and I let it all out, all the secrets, all the pain, all the fears, and worries everything that I was keeping in my head and heart. I let it go, and I felt the relief my heart was screaming for because I felt loved by someone because all of my flaws and mistakes we nothing in the eyes of the Lord. Over the course of weeks, I noticed the change in me. I began to love things and forgive again I started seeing the world in a very different view and I was slowly crawling out this cage I felt trapped in. My broken heart and my crushed soul was being repaired slowly with the love of God. I started listening to Christian music and I stopped daydreaming in church, even though it took me a while. I found God, and God saved me. I have no idea where I would be today if I stayed on the dark path I was on. I felt as I was given a "New Life" and it wasn't until then did I finally understand my church's name.