Throughout high school, I skipped back and forth between what I wanted to do with my life, what would make me the most money, and the life my parents wanted for me. High school, as I'm sure plenty of you are familiar, does not give you the best opportunity to explore your options. Your schedule is practically planned out until senior year when you might get one choice to add an interesting class to your academic endeavors. It wasn't until I was a junior that I was able to take a class I had always wanted to take: apparel design.

That class was probably the most fun I had ever had in high school over the four years. I got to explore other designers paths to success and their personal stories, and I became so enraptured in the world of fashion. Sure, the movies and TV shows helped; watching things like "Jane by Design," and "The Carrie Diaries," and "Sex and the City." After that class, I thought I knew exactly who I wanted to be--a top notch fashion designer with a huge flat in New York City, my own personal limousine, and maybe even an assistant of my own. Basically, I wanted to be Miranda Priestly, but....

It took me a while to understand that no, I can't just waltz right into the fashion industry and be important. You see, I would never be "on top" in the fashion industry, and so I chickened out of what I really wanted to do--design. Back in my freshmen year of high school, and maybe even before that, I did fashion sketch after fashion sketch, filling up several notebooks worth. I used to think they were really good, too. So I thought to myself: I will move to New York, work part time at some coffee shop and part time as an intern somewhere, and one day, take the city by storm. You know, what girls always seem to be doing in those movies. Well, that plan has been thrown out of the window.

So now here I am, trying to sneak my way into a different part of the fashion industry--writing. Of course, even writing is distorted from TV shows like, again, "Sex and the City." Anyone ever been on Internships.com? Well, let me tell you now if you haven't. Very few internships on there--speaking from a strictly fashion perspective--are even possible to get. What ever happened to accepting someone so they get experience? Why is it now that you have to have a minimum of 10 years of experience with proven results right out of college to get anything good? Anything worth doing is impossible to get accepted into and the jobs or internships you can get suck!

Also, no one seems to pay interns anymore. No matter what kind of work these internships will have you doing, guess what? You won't be getting paid for it. But here's the real kicker: Sometimes, they want you to be available six days a week. Hmm....six days a week, no pay, not fun work. Yep, sign me up! How do they expect you to survive? I mean, you'll need an apartment, food, toiletries, transportation, etc. How can you do that with no salary?

Now I've never considered myself to be a girly girl, but when it comes to the fashion industry, there is just something about it that excites me and makes me want to be a part of it. I think it would be an amazing thing to end up being a writer for Marie Claire or Vogue. Again, however, I don't really know what that entails other than always having up-to-date knowledge on, "Did he dump you because you're fat?"

Or "What to wear to get his attention."

Since starting to learn more about the realistic fashion industry, it has become very superficial in my mind. Today, it seems to be more about the latest gossip than it is about fashion. For example, three out of the four headlines on Vogue's website a couple days ago had nothing to do with fashion, but with celebrity drama. I don't know about any of you, but I have enough drama happening around me that I don't need to read if Irina Shayk's post-baby glow is real or not. What happened to the way fashion used to be?

Have you ever watched "13 Going On 30?" Remember the part where Jenna had to give a presentation about redesigning Poise and she totally nailed it by saying that regular people are the ones to look up to? Maybe you'll remember the quote: "Who are these women? Does anyone know? I don't recognize any of them. I want to see my best friend's big sister, the girls from the soccer team, my next door neighbor, real women who are smart and pretty and happy to be who they are. These are the women to look up to. Let's put life back into the magazine. And fun and laughter and silliness. I think we all - I think all of us - want to feel something that we've forgotten or turned our backs on because maybe we didn't realize how much we were leaving behind. We need to remember what used to be good. If we don't, we won't recognize it even if it hits us between the eyes."

I just wish fashion would change to what I always thought it was growing up, instead of being about how thin you can get or how to cover up everything you don't like about yourself.

A couple months ago, I got the opportunity to be press and write about the 2017 Instinct Fashion Show. When I was there, sitting in the second row, wearing my press name tag and scribbling in my notebook, I felt like a real fashion journalist. As much as I've talked down on the fashion industry, the feeling I got while I was there was unlike anything I've ever felt before. First of all, I felt like a real adult, which was new. I also felt really "hip." And now after saying "hip," I feel less so. I just wish I could get more opportunities like that; unfortunately, they aren't readily available.

So, the life of an aspiring fashion journalist is really quite boring and exactly the same as everyone else's life despite what you may see in TV shows. I spend my time looking for fashion opportunities, freelance writing, and looking at apartments in New York that I know I'll never have. However, don't ever stop living your fashion fantasy if you're like me. Like Ralph Lauren said, "Fashion is about something that comes from within you."