When I was going though middle school and high school, I went through many different phases that came with their own personalities. I never really put much thought into it I just kinda did whatever I wanted, but looking back I realized I was always copying someone else. Back then it didn't really phase me, but as I go through college it's something that crosses my mind all the time.

Who the hell am I?

I don't think I'll ever stop asking myself this question, but one thing that is for certain is that everyone is trying to fulfill some kind of role in society; trying to find a safe place to settle down. Which is smart, it's what we are programmed to do. Animals that roam alone are more susceptible to predators than those who travel in packs. So the same works with humans, except instead of becoming an entree it's to avoid feeling lonely and believe that we have a purpose.

However, that transition is not easy, and more often than not I find myself weary of the fact that maybe I'm just settling into who I am now and staying in my comfort zone because the fear of uncertainty and feeling alone is worse than being stuck in a mediocre environment I'm kind of okay with.

But I think there's kind of a melancholy joy that comes with it. Being able to explore different personalities until you find one that's the most fitting is like trying on clothes, you just can't buy it from a store though.

This all sounds like a cheesy inner monologue in a coming of age film but it's all apart of getting older, and frankly the feeling of existential dread is inevitable.

But hey, maybe in 10 years you can enjoy the phase you're currently in now and just ride that wave of nostalgia and tell yourself it was all worth it.