Serious question: What do you think of black men? No, seriously. Are you one of those girls who will call a black man attractive when speaking in private, and then turn around immediately in defense with the phrase, "but I'd never date a black guy"? Or are you one of those guys who will look down on a woman for "going black", and convince yourself that she has been tarnished for the rest of eternity? I have met both of these types of people, and SO much more. From the judgy types who are bold enough to walk up to an interracial couple, and ask one or both parties involved, "does your family know about this?" Or the people who continually shame black men, calling them thugs, drug dealers, wife beaters, pimps, or just the man on the block who doesn't pay his child support? I have heard it all in my years spent in interracial relationships, and let me just say, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. I want to take a minute to tell you about my experience having "gone black", and how I'll definitely "never go back". But maybe not for the reasons you would think (don't be gross).
My boyfriend is not perfect by any means, but not once has he ever been abusive (in any capacity), or shown me any violence at all. I am convinced that I am dating some type of monk who somehow found his way to The Woodlands, TX. He is the most peaceful, gentle, and caring man I have ever encountered. (Well he might be a tie with my dad). But still. I am a freaking wrecking ball. I get angry, I get moody, and I get unreasonable more than I care to admit. My sweet boyfriend has never once laid a hand on me, put me down verbally, or even raised his voice at me. I'm telling y'all, this boy is a saint.
My favorite line might be "wait until you get pregnant, and watch how fast he leaves". HA! Really? Do you have any idea how many single moms there are in this country? And do you really believe that every single one of their baby daddies is black?! Negative ghost rider. I could pull up 25 girls on my Facebook at a minimum with white or Hispanic baby daddies who very cheerfully walked away from their women before the child even arrived into this world. Are there bad black fathers? I'm sure there are. But, there are also bad Hispanic fathers, and bad white fathers as well, and that number grows every single day in all of those categories. So before you sit here and trash my boyfriend, who is not even a father yet, check yourself. He is his own person. And his capabilities as a father, and as a human being are dependent on so much more than his skin color.
Also, my boyfriend is definitely not a thug, drug dealer, or pimp. NOT EVEN CLOSE. He is way too sweet for all that. Not to mention, he was raised by a truly remarkable and inspiring black woman who instilled good moral values and Christ-like principles within him from a very young age. And if he were to ever go down that route, I guarantee, she'd beat his behind even faster than I would. He was raised to do better than that, and he knows how to provide for me (and our future family) without ever having to turn to something so dark. I am confident that even on his darkest days, he understands the value in turning to Jesus Christ, and asking HIM for strength and provision. I could not ask for a better financial or spiritual leader. He is everything I have prayed for, and then some. Turn off the news, open your eyes and forget what all those stereotypical movies have been telling you for so many years. Black is beautiful. Black does not equal crime. Black does not equal thug. And black does not equal incompetent. Black guys (and girls) rock. I promise.
My boyfriend is bright, brilliant, determined, motivated, hard-working, kind, selfless, considerate, compassionate, Christ-like and so much more. And the only "flaw" that the world tries to put on him is his dark skin. But that's not a flaw at all. I love his beautiful, unique and alluring dark skin. I would not change anything about his appearance. However, if he woke up tomorrow with yellow, green, or blue skin, I would still continue to love him with every ounce of my being, because our love is not confined to color. Our love is fueled by selflessness, compassion, hard work, dedication and, most importantly, Jesus Christ.
Let's be real, if you missed the chance to be with the love of your life, merely because he or she didn't come in the exact shade or package that you anticipated, could you live with that decision for the rest of your life? Amazing people come in ALL shapes, sizes, and colors. Believe it or not, sometimes God sends us blessings that don't always look like our "type". And personally, I think that is a beautiful thing. God wants us to expand our minds and look past the hateful barriers that the world tells us to hide behind.
In conclusion: yes, my boyfriend is black. But, no, he is not a thug, drug dealer, wife beater or pimp. He does not owe any money on child support, he is not disrespectful, violent or abusive. He is flawed, just like every other man in this world, but he is so much more than his skin color. He is simply a man with black skin who I was blessed enough to fall in love with.
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the contentof theircharacter."
-Martin Luther King Jr.