Being embarrassed. Doing something for the first time that everyone around you has done before. Being misunderstood. Being criticized. Being ignored. All of these are things that make us feel small. We often incorporate the description of the word small with negativity and belittlement. When it seems the world is against us and things are going a hundred miles an hour around us we shrink down feeling tired and defeated. When I feel small I feel like there is nothing I can do to feel important. I feel not enough. I am too small to make an impact, too small to be respected, too small to lead others. I feel rejected and alone, shriveled up into a tiny me that isn't even "me" at all. I wonder what I can do to be better, building rungs on a ladder to climb up higher to make myself feel satisfied, only to have my ladder fall apart and me lie on the ground in the midst of shambles. When we feel small we put ourselves down into a pit of lies, disapproval, and inferiority.
Being in the ocean. Looking at the stars in the night sky. Making art. Watching the sunrise or sunset. Walking through the woods. Standing in a crowd during praise and worship, not singing, just listening to the voices around you. All of these are things that make us feel small. However, these things aren't negative in the slightest. In fact, they make you feel warm inside and at peace. A place where you are calm and carefree, being present in the moment. A sense of comfort. I realize I am not in control, and I am fine with that, because somebody much, much bigger and better is. I feel like the world is my oyster. I realize my superficial problems are minuscule compared to the sizable problems of the world. I am small enough to let go and let God. Small enough to take a deep breath and just breathe. Small enough to sit in the vastness of God's creation. When we feel small we lift ourselves up into a sky of beauty, praise, and wonder.
Smallness. Smallness is good. Yet we still continuously focus on the negative side of the word.Why do we let ourselves feel belittled by the world? We fail to realize the
goodness usually, but it is important to realize how unbelievable smallness really can be. I want to feel small! If you are like me, you are constantly planning, wondering what to do next, trying to make your own plans to get yourself higher. Stop. Breathe. Take a look at the sky and see that you are not in complete control of your life. We can't manipulate what people will think or what the outcome is going to be. How peaceful! You are small. But smallness can be mighty, my friend. Jesus, himself, told us:
"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move." -Matthew 17:20
The Lord embraces the small! Have you noticed the small things in your life? The small moments are the sweetest ones. We need to start embracing our small just as God has done. He doesn't want big and extravagant, he just wants a little. We should too! As we go through this life I challenge you to come along with me to sit in my smallness and love it, make it your freedom.
I am not in control, I am enough, and I am small.