The Best Thing I've Learned Is When To Walk Away

The Best Thing I've Learned Is When To Walk Away

If I've learned anything important in the past year, it was this.
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I used to be a doormat. I used to let people walk all over me, control me, manipulate me. I made some pretty wrong decisions due to my fear of other people. There were ultimatums and endless apologies where I didn't even know what I was apologizing for. There was losing great friends and turning people away from my life. There was anger built up in me and the feeling that I couldn't decide my own life. And it didn't stop. I knew if I wanted a change, I would have to end the cycle of control. I would have to do it, no matter how scared I was, how much I cared about that person, or how long we had been friends. I had to make that decision. If I've learned anything important in the past year, it was this.

I learned when to walk away. When to stop caring, to stop trying, to stop letting negative people be a part of my life. I learned when to let go.

Although it happened little by little, I recently realized how much I have grown. I mentally make the decision now to not let other people affect how I feel, what I do, or where I go. And it is so easy. It is so freeing. But it still feels weird to me--because I was so held back in the past. I am still getting used to this type of friendship.

There will always be people who get mad at you for dumb reasons, who are petty, who can't grow up--and you'll always have to deal with them. But its important to know when to get out. There are some fine lines when it comes to removing people from your life on your own terms. You can't help if someone does it to you, and if they do, you can think about where you went wrong and try to fix it. But sometimes you're the one who has to walk away. And although it may seem like you're being a bad friend, you are looking out for yourself. Thats vital.

I can't say there is any one right way to do it--to straight up tell someone you are cutting them out of your life, to end all ties cold turkey and stop talking, or to slowly do it over time. Eventually you will have the same conclusion, but explaining yourself may give you both closure. I would suggest being honest, but that can't always be the way it goes.

But when you do it, when you get the nerve, when you get so tired of it, when you just are done, it is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. For your life. Forever. One of the best things I've learned is when to walk away, how to walk away, and why I need to walk away. This has given me a new perspective on friendships, on college girls, on my own health. You need to look out for yourself, when you are being taken advantage of, and what is toxic to you.

When you can walk away from someone, you are walking towards a new you, a stronger you, a better you.

Cover Image Credit: Maddi Burns

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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Tanya Gold, Your Fatphobic Article Is Uneducated And Arrogant

BREAKING NEWS: Women come in all different shapes and sizes!

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Just recently, Nike released a plus-size mannequin at one of their stores in London that showed off their plus-size leggings and sports bra. And, because we live in a world where being fat or overweight or obese is somehow the worst thing in the world to some people, this has sparked a lot of discussion.

Tanya Gold wrote an article for The Telegraph saying that this mannequin “cannot run" and is “likely pre-diabetic" and “on her way to a hip-replacement." Not only is Tanya's article uneducated and poorly written, it's completely fatphobic and embarrassing.

What I would like to know is this: why can't plus-size women work out in Nike clothes just like a size 2 woman? People want to scream from the rooftops that plus-size women are fat because they don't exercise and when companies FINALLY start catering to plus-size women with clothes they can EXERCISE IN, people lose their minds and think that they're promoting obesity.

What are plus sized women supposed to work out in if they can't even wear Nike leggings without being fat-shamed?

Would you rather them wear jeans? Overalls? A parka, maybe? What about a garbage bag?

Let's also discuss the fact that being overweight doesn't equal being unhealthy, just like being at a “normal" weight doesn't make you healthy. Did you ever stop to think that some women have diseases that make them gain weight that they, in return, can't lose? Some women can eat salad for every single meal, seven days a week and they still can't lose weight.

Let's all say this together: SIZE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FITNESS. Being thin doesn't equal being healthy and being overweight doesn't equal being unhealthy.

Everyone (and yes, I mean EVERYONE) should be able to be comfortable in their own skin AND in their clothes.

You can't sit and pout saying that fat people don't care about their health and then when they want comfortable clothes to wear while they're EXERCISING, hell has frozen over and how dare Nike cater to people who aren't a size 2.

Tanya, be honest with yourself. You aren't anywhere near a size 2, either, so where is all of this coming from? Are you self-loathing? Do you have some kind of internal fatphobia?

Pick a side, Tanya. You can't hate people who are overweight because you think that they aren't exercising and then when they do exercise and they get clothes that cater to them, it's all of the sudden wrong and horrible.

We are damned if we do, damned if we don't. As if women (and men) weren't already being shamed enough for being plus size, we're now being made to feel bad because a brand caters to our size so we can wear the same clothes all of the other sizes can wear.

Thank you, Nike, for making your brand more inclusive for all shapes and sizes so we can ALL feel confident in our clothes.

I think it's worth mentioning that Nike released their plus-size line in 2017 AKA 2 years ago... Why weren't you mad then?

Oh, and, Tanya Gold, you might want to stop smoking since you're all about being healthy, right? You don't want to get lung cancer or anything, do you?

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