I used to be a doormat. I used to let people walk all over me, control me, manipulate me. I made some pretty wrong decisions due to my fear of other people. There were ultimatums and endless apologies where I didn't even know what I was apologizing for. There was losing great friends and turning people away from my life. There was anger built up in me and the feeling that I couldn't decide my own life. And it didn't stop. I knew if I wanted a change, I would have to end the cycle of control. I would have to do it, no matter how scared I was, how much I cared about that person, or how long we had been friends. I had to make that decision. If I've learned anything important in the past year, it was this.
I learned when to walk away. When to stop caring, to stop trying, to stop letting negative people be a part of my life. I learned when to let go.
Although it happened little by little, I recently realized how much I have grown. I mentally make the decision now to not let other people affect how I feel, what I do, or where I go. And it is so easy. It is so freeing. But it still feels weird to me--because I was so held back in the past. I am still getting used to this type of friendship.
There will always be people who get mad at you for dumb reasons, who are petty, who can't grow up--and you'll always have to deal with them. But its important to know when to get out. There are some fine lines when it comes to removing people from your life on your own terms. You can't help if someone does it to you, and if they do, you can think about where you went wrong and try to fix it. But sometimes you're the one who has to walk away. And although it may seem like you're being a bad friend, you are looking out for yourself. Thats vital.
I can't say there is any one right way to do it--to straight up tell someone you are cutting them out of your life, to end all ties cold turkey and stop talking, or to slowly do it over time. Eventually you will have the same conclusion, but explaining yourself may give you both closure. I would suggest being honest, but that can't always be the way it goes.
But when you do it, when you get the nerve, when you get so tired of it, when you just are done, it is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. For your life. Forever. One of the best things I've learned is when to walk away, how to walk away, and why I need to walk away. This has given me a new perspective on friendships, on college girls, on my own health. You need to look out for yourself, when you are being taken advantage of, and what is toxic to you.
When you can walk away from someone, you are walking towards a new you, a stronger you, a better you.