Ladies, the Best Relationship You Can Be In is With Yourself
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Ladies, the Best Relationship You Can Be In is With Yourself

Stop looking for your "other half."

45
Ladies, the Best Relationship You Can Be In is With Yourself

“You’re a strong, independent woman who don't need no man.” Appealing, right? Well this isn't exactly the conclusion you should jump to when entering this discussion.

I started dating when I was 17, and I just ended my last relationship in May. I can safely say that through most of those three years, I was not happy with who I was. I was putting my value into the guys I was dating, rather than paying attention to what made me happy on my own. It seems that today people are jumping into relationships at such a young age, neither of the persons involved are aware of who they are as individual people!

Colin Wright wrote a book titled "Some Thoughts About Relationships." A section from his book was featured on The Minimalists blog where he discusses intentionality in relationships rather than passivity. "It means bringing other people into your life in a way that’s healthy -- not co-dependent, but not isolating.”

I was also connected to a guy named Travis Barton through a mutual friend, and found an article on his website called "You’re Single? What’s Wrong With You?" He writes, "I see two types of single people -- those who are seeking a relationship at any cost, and those that are so in love with their own life that it will take someone no short of absolutely extraordinary to make them want to change that.”

These are two examples of men who are focused on intentionally pursuing relationships (both with partners and friendships) that add value to themselves as individuals. Now ladies, listen closely. I have one single piece of advice for you:

DUMP YOUR EXES!

You heard me right. Dump them. You dumped them once (or they dumped you), and you can dump them again! Get rid of them as fast as you can! Don't ever speak to them again! Purge them from your life in any and all ways possible. De-friend them on Facebook. Delete their number from your phone.

I know what you're thinking.

But fear not. I guarantee you will have many more Valentine's Day's with somebody than without somebody.

Bear with me...

I read another article recently talking about the phrase “you complete me” and how this is actually a very dangerous thing to say. I wish I could credit the author, but I will do my best to replicate the wisdom they had to share. What they meant by this danger, is when you say to somebody, “you complete me,” you are implying that you are not a whole person. You need someone to make you a whole person. They are your missing "other half."

This is the wrong way to go about things.

Rather than finding somebody to complete you, perhaps you need to find somebody who will compliment you. The only relationship you should be putting all your time and effort into right now... is yourself.

I have personally decided that I will not date throughout the rest of college. This summer I have realized that investing time in myself and finding out who I am as a person has made me exponentially more happy than if I were to be in a relationship. I want to stress the importance of finding value in yourself, before you invest your time and heart in another person. Love is powerful.

There is a great metaphor (which I advise you to approach maturely). You have two balls. A glass ball, and a rubber ball. Your family and friends are the glass ball. Your love life is the rubber ball. The rubber ball will always bounce back. But if you break the glass ball, it cannot be replaced, and it will stay shattered. I can say that unfortunately I have cracked my glass ball in a few places because I bounced my rubber ball too hard against the glass.

If you need any more "power to the woman" advice on dumping your exes, Patty Stanger from "The Millionaire Matchmaker" has some cut throat advice on breakups and moving on.

So I didn’t quite turn you into a feminist, did I? But it is my firm belief that you should become a strong and independent woman, and then you can have your man.

I leave you with the wise words of Eowyn from the battlefield of Minas Tirith.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

71319
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

133426
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments