Ladies, the Best Relationship You Can Be In is With Yourself
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Ladies, the Best Relationship You Can Be In is With Yourself

Stop looking for your "other half."

Ladies, the Best Relationship You Can Be In is With Yourself

“You’re a strong, independent woman who don't need no man.” Appealing, right? Well this isn't exactly the conclusion you should jump to when entering this discussion.

I started dating when I was 17, and I just ended my last relationship in May. I can safely say that through most of those three years, I was not happy with who I was. I was putting my value into the guys I was dating, rather than paying attention to what made me happy on my own. It seems that today people are jumping into relationships at such a young age, neither of the persons involved are aware of who they are as individual people!

Colin Wright wrote a book titled "Some Thoughts About Relationships." A section from his book was featured on The Minimalists blog where he discusses intentionality in relationships rather than passivity. "It means bringing other people into your life in a way that’s healthy -- not co-dependent, but not isolating.”

I was also connected to a guy named Travis Barton through a mutual friend, and found an article on his website called "You’re Single? What’s Wrong With You?" He writes, "I see two types of single people -- those who are seeking a relationship at any cost, and those that are so in love with their own life that it will take someone no short of absolutely extraordinary to make them want to change that.”

These are two examples of men who are focused on intentionally pursuing relationships (both with partners and friendships) that add value to themselves as individuals. Now ladies, listen closely. I have one single piece of advice for you:


You heard me right. Dump them. You dumped them once (or they dumped you), and you can dump them again! Get rid of them as fast as you can! Don't ever speak to them again! Purge them from your life in any and all ways possible. De-friend them on Facebook. Delete their number from your phone.

I know what you're thinking.

But fear not. I guarantee you will have many more Valentine's Day's with somebody than without somebody.

Bear with me...

I read another article recently talking about the phrase “you complete me” and how this is actually a very dangerous thing to say. I wish I could credit the author, but I will do my best to replicate the wisdom they had to share. What they meant by this danger, is when you say to somebody, “you complete me,” you are implying that you are not a whole person. You need someone to make you a whole person. They are your missing "other half."

This is the wrong way to go about things.

Rather than finding somebody to complete you, perhaps you need to find somebody who will compliment you. The only relationship you should be putting all your time and effort into right now... is yourself.

I have personally decided that I will not date throughout the rest of college. This summer I have realized that investing time in myself and finding out who I am as a person has made me exponentially more happy than if I were to be in a relationship. I want to stress the importance of finding value in yourself, before you invest your time and heart in another person. Love is powerful.

There is a great metaphor (which I advise you to approach maturely). You have two balls. A glass ball, and a rubber ball. Your family and friends are the glass ball. Your love life is the rubber ball. The rubber ball will always bounce back. But if you break the glass ball, it cannot be replaced, and it will stay shattered. I can say that unfortunately I have cracked my glass ball in a few places because I bounced my rubber ball too hard against the glass.

If you need any more "power to the woman" advice on dumping your exes, Patty Stanger from "The Millionaire Matchmaker" has some cut throat advice on breakups and moving on.

So I didn’t quite turn you into a feminist, did I? But it is my firm belief that you should become a strong and independent woman, and then you can have your man.

I leave you with the wise words of Eowyn from the battlefield of Minas Tirith.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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