The Benefit of the Doubt

The Benefit of the Doubt

When enough is enough.

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I was a doormat for most of my middle and high school life, and in retrospect I pity myself. It was instilled in me from a young age that I needed to be nice to everyone, no matter how badly they treated me in return. I was, and still am, a strong believer in giving second and even third chances, but as I began college and started living in the real world, I came to this realization that second chances should only be given to those who deserve your forgiveness and your respect. If someone has consistently taken advantage of you and made you unhappy, there is no reason for you to keep letting them back in. History shows that they will continue their behavior once again. At one point or another giving someone "the benefit of the doubt" becomes a way for you to enable their behavior and enable them to infringe upon our own happiness.

You need to ask yourself, why am I holding on to this person if all they do Is hurt me over and over again? You might have religious reasons, you might be childhood friends, or maybe you're just too nice. Holding on to someone who tears you down, doesn't show you respect, and takes advantage of you is not someone who should have a place in your life. The vicious cycle of them hurting you will only continue, tearing you down in the process, and using up all your mental energy to figure out what you might have done wrong to make them mad this time. Why should their happiness come at the expense of yours? No matter if you've known them for 10 years or 10 days, there's a point at which enough is enough. You need to let them go, and let them find happiness within themselves. To give the benefit of the doubt does not mean you should let them stomp all over you and then treat them like royalty in return. It means treating them with the respect they give you, and when they make a mistake, giving them a second chance, only as long as they deserve it. In the real world, employers, coworkers, and partners won't be as forgiving because the consequences have higher stakes. To better yourself, you need to surround yourself with people who treat you how you deserve to be treated so that you can do the same to others in return.

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Taylor Swift Said It Best, You Need To Calm TF Down Because LOVE IS LOVE *Mic Drop*

Shade never made anybody less gay

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Ok yes, I understand how the LGBT community can be a bit confusing/hard to understand, especially if you are someone who grew up without that in the world. If you are someone who is straight you might think that, that is the only way to live and that being "gay" is wrong or a sin or something.

But honey, keep your opinions to yourself.

Our society is evolving more than ever these days and people are just not accepting of that.

The bottom line is, LOVE IS LOVE.

Period.

Point blank.

Mic drop.

Let people love who they want to. It is not your place to tell people how to live their life. Yes, I am straight, I am a female and I like men, but do I get crap for it? No. Why? Because that is what is considered "normal."

We need to be more accepting of everyone's sexuality. Whether you like men or women, you deserve to love whoever you want and not get hate for it.

"shade never made anybody less gay" Just because you are hating on someone or telling them that they are in the wrong, will not change their mind about who they like or who they are attracted to.

So take a deep breath, sit down, and stop the hate.

I know it is hard to accept and our society seems to be going downhill in your eyes, but it's actually not. Society is just changing and it's for the better.

Have an open mind. Change is hard, but if you learn to embrace it, you will be happier and make others happy as well.

Throwing shade at strangers on the internet is considered bullying. What do you get out of that? Let me answer that for you, nothing. All you are doing is making someone else feel bad for being themselves. What if the roles were reversed? What if you were getting hate for being yourself? It wouldn't feel good, would it? You're probably just making others feel bad about themselves out of your own insecurity.

So stop!

Take a chill pill, you need to calm down!

Take the high road and keep quiet. Nobody hates you for who you are, so don't hate on other people.

This is why people hide their true selves. They hide the fact that they are attracted to the same sex because it isn't considered "normal" and they are afraid of being judged, and not being accepted for it, and that is not fair at all.

Not feeling like you are allowed to freely love who you want to love would be absolutely devastating.

Love is what we all strive for. Love is what makes life worth living, so we should be acceptable to all types of love because without love there is nothing and life is not worth living.

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You Know You're From Trumbull, CT When...

The best memories are made in this boring, little, Connecticut town.

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1. The majority of places you will consider to eat at are in Fairfield or Westport... Colony, Shake Shack, Country Cow, Playa Bowls, BarTaco

2. But if you find yourself too lazy to get on 95 for food, Panchero's is the go-to... never Chipotle. If it is past midnight, the choice always comes down to the McDonalds in Monroe, where you are almost guaranteed to see a group of people you know, or Merritt Canteen.

3. Once you got your license, your Friday night plans consisted of picking up friends, driving up and down Main Street, and, somehow, always finding yourself at the THS parking lot seeing who's car is there because there is nothing better to do.

4. In the Fall, you couldn't wait for Friday so that after school you and half of your grade could walk to Plasko's Farm for ice cream and apple cider donuts... and hope you could get them before the owners would yell at you to leave. (This one only applies to Hillcrest Middle School kids, AKA the inferior middle school in town).

5. You couldn't wait to be a senior so you could officially lead the BLACK HOLE at football games... if you were even willing to go in the cold.

6. You looked forward to the annual Senior Scav, the last week of summer before your senior year where a list of tasks is passed down by the recently graduated class... the official kickoff to senior year.

7. You pass by Country Club Rd. and get flashbacks from the worst Cross Country practices ever. Driving up Daniels Farm Rd. in the Fall and Spring, you are conditioned to yell "hi" out the window to your friends at practice.

8. You knew someone who worked at Gene's gas station... and found yourself spending more time there on the weekends than you would like to admit.

9. You are convinced Melon-heads are real after frequenting Velvet St. to see the abandoned insane asylum with your friends, IF you didn't want to drive all the way up to Fairfield Hills in Newtown.

10. You have had/have been to at least one middle school birthday party at the Trumbull Marriott.

11. You know that the 25mph speed limit on Whitney Ave. is way too slow... and can't help but hit a little air going down the huge hill at the top.

12. The guy at Towne likely knows your name.

13. You never find yourself turning right out of THS... that side of town is irrelevant for those who do not live there.

14. You know to avoid the Merrit Parkway from 4:00-7:00pm at all costs.

15. You know more than you would like to about people you aren't even friends with... in a town so small, things get around very quick.

16. Going shopping really means going to Target, or any store in the mall, for the millionth time that week.

17. The marching band was the best in the state and you would see them practicing, literally, every time you drove by THS.

19. Depending on the side of town you lived, you spent a lot of time at Five Pennies Park or Indian Ledge Park.

20. You would say you couldn't wait to leave, but when you got to college, you find yourself excited to come back to your hometown so you can reminisce on old traditions and make new memories.

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