The Beauty in Being Alone
Start writing a post

The Beauty in Being Alone

What quarantine and living alone have both taught me

42
The Beauty in Being Alone
Pixabay - on Pixabay

To start off shortly, I live alone in a one bedroom apartment in Miami, and despite my location I actually don't know anyone, so it has been quite a lonely 120 days of quarantine. I had to move from my university when quarantine, so I moved to Miami for the time being as part of a Work-For-Rent deal.

I think I've met up with a friend maybe three times during all of this, and she's currently in California again so I've been by myself for a while.

At first I went crazy. Bonkers doing nothing but online courses and playing videogames. I even caved and bought Netflix.

I picked up several hobbies out of boredom from pole fitness to droning. I even adopted a Bearded Dragon as a pet.

It was hard at first transitioning from constant human interaction at college to nothing. No one but me. It was scary being left with my thoughts but I saw this as an opportunity. A chance to take a long time and think about myself as a person. Recently I've been struggling with my professional identity and cultural identity in this world. I tell people my dreams of being a neurosurgeon, but . . . when I run over the plan to myself it feels lackluster and uninspiring.

So every day I thought about myself. My behavior and emotions. My choices and actions. My mistakes and successes so far. Out of all this time I think I did gain something. One lesson in particular, and that is the sanctity of your own singularity.

Sanctity in Singularity

So what does this really mean? Well first I want to just highlight briefly what I experience day to day being alone.

I wake up, quite early since my pet reptile needs to eat pretty early at around 8am usually. Take care of boring maintenance of my apartment, eat and then do nothing for about 10 hours. Yes I'm unemployed, but I do design commissions online (I just opened a Fiverr!!)

So it's fairly plain and cyclical. But overtime I began to realize something. I began to feel . . . very comfortable. I felt safe. Being in such solitary made me appreciate my own . . . presence more. I was aware of what I was doing, and I enjoyed my own company.

I've struggled with self love severely over my life. I don't think I've ever thought of myself particularly positive, which albeit depressing is just true. However, being alone to my thoughts and not really having the ability to go out and do something due to the state of Miami. So I began to actually enjoy my own company. I liked being alone and not doing anything the entire day and just vibing to music. For days on end. Sure I was bored, but I was bored with myself. I grew a greater appreciation for my own existence.

It became special. My boring lazy routine. It was ritualistic I found. It became important. For the first time I think I myself became important to myself. In almost a personal way as if I was two separate people.

In Death . . .

One powerful thing I've learned over just the course of my life (and experimenting with psychadelics) is the inevitability of our mortality, and the beauty in the self. All we are, are our own consciousness. We are molds of our experience and environment, and the "self" is that product of the mold. The only evidence we have for our own reality is our own reality. This may be difficult to grasp, but essentially the only proof we have for ourself is ourself. You! Your very existence is happening. You are living and processing my own words. Your existence is something sacred, and should be cherished by YOU.

When we die, we are alone. In our heads. Our only comfort into the afterlife, void or whatever you believe in is ourself. We give ourselves the strength to go on.

After all, who knows you better than you?

And therefore, who cares about you more than you?


Cherish your time alone. By yourself with your thoughts. You're your best company after all. Who can relate to you more than you. Who can feel with you more than you? I hope this doesn't sound occult-y LOL but I am serious when I say I found a sanctity in my own self, my singularity.


"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, S.J.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

Founders Of Color: Rec Room's Dre Taylor On What Blackness Can Look Like And Not Working For Free

"It mattered to me that when we were depicting racial diversity for Rec Room, we showed the broad spectrum of what Blackness can look like."

Rec Room

The world of sustainable fashion is inundated with marketing gimmicks, false advertising, and large corporations cutting corners — Rec Room is the pure antithesis of that.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dunkin' just announced that they'll be releasing their fall menu earlier than ever — set to debut on August 19 — and that it'll include new menu options this season, including a new signature pumpkin spice latte. Let me just say, Starbucks has some fall-menu competition now.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

CBD Lip Balm Is The Calming Presence You Need In Your Life, Trust Me

I tried lip balm, sleep gummies, and an oil dropper from CBDistillery. Here's the final verdict.

@lilyjmoe

CBD has been on making waves within the wellness space for the last few years. Generally related to the treatment of anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain, it's growing easier to find small CBD companies who are making products specifically designed to fit your needs. As FDA rules for CBD production can be a little hazy, it's true that not all CBD products are created equally. That's why it's important to look into the manufacturing of whatever you're deciding to try, especially if you're new to taking CBD.

As someone who has tried a variety of CBD products — some victories, some failures — I was thrilled when CBDistillery sent me a package of their favorites. They included a Broad Spectrum CBD Oil Tincture, their Nighttime Gummies, and a CBD Lip Balm.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Went To Disney For The First Time Since COVID-19 And It's Officially The Cleanest Place On Earth

I stopped focusing on the pandemic simply because, for the first time in months, I felt safe.

After a few months of self-quarantining, becoming suspicious of every cough, and blowing through masks like a medical school student, restrictions due to the pandemic are easing up a bit and businesses are warily reopening. While these public spaces may look the same on the outside, the way they function and operate is vastly different than a few months ago.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 At-Home Therapy Tips You Need, No Matter What Your Therapy Routine Is

Whether you're in a Zoom session or live-chatting, make sure your home therapy space is good to go.

No matter what stigmas you held about therapy before this year, I'm sure 2020 has affirmed that we could ALL use a nice long therapy session. Between wildfires that took over an entire continent, a global health crisis, and what's sure to be one giant circus of an election in the United States, we need help and we need it now.

The fact of the matter is, therapy has been a helpful, valid resource long before the world decided to become one giant dumpster fire. Having a safe space to discuss what's going on in your life, worries you have, and struggles you're facing has become a very normal thing for individuals' mental health.

Keep Reading... Show less

When it comes to wedding planning, each and every detail is customized to the style of the couple. From venue and decorations to food and beverages, nothing gets overlooked — whether your wedding is big, small, or virtual.

The same thing goes for invites, which are getting more and more beautiful every wedding season. If you're looking to customize your wedding invitations, the options are endless... you can add pictures if you wish, opt for fancy artwork, or keep it simple with just text).

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

23 Burning Questions We Have For The Taureans In Our Lives, Answered By A Taurus

The remaining 11 signs took the bull by the horns, and it was a fun and insightful experience!

Jordyn Leach

Lately, I've been digging deeper into astrology and studying my sign. Throughout the journey, it's come to my attention that Taurus are probably one of the most complicated signs - that is, if you're not a Taurus.

To gain a little more perspective on how my sign is viewed by the others, I requested that the participants submit a question in response to the following:

Keep Reading... Show less
Universal Pictures

A music enthusiast like myself has a playlist for every mood. Life's a movie and you're the main character. In no specific order, listen to these songs to feel on top of the world!

Pro Tip: turn your crossfade up to 3 seconds for a seamless transition between each song!

Keep Reading... Show less

It's the most wonderful time of the year again — it's sorority recruitment season! While recruitment can be a fun and memorable experience, it can also take a toll on your mental health, especially this year, considering the special circumstances brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic. Here are a few reminders to keep in your mental health toolkit during recruitment week to help keep your mental health at bay during this unique experience.

Keep Reading... Show less

We've all been there. You see that super cute guy on your dating app of choice, his bio is funny, and then, the gut-wrenching feeling hits when you see their political views don't exactly line up with yours. He loves Trump, you can't stand him, or vice versa.

A lot of people will say you can get over politics, but I know from personal experience, as well as this survey, that politics play a huge role in whether a relationship will work or if we're even willing to swipe right on that profile.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments