BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

In case you missed that — like myself on many, many occasions — that was the alarm clock going off for about the third time this morning. In an average college student’s dorm room, alarms can be heard, even through closed windows, multiple times each morning. Instead of a chorus of birds waking one up from their well-deserved slumber, it’s an ensemble of other students’ alarm clocks going off not once, not twice, but maybe even three or four times each morning.

The culprit for all of this extra alarm noise?

The snooze button.

For some reason, it’s always the biggest button on every alarm clock, taunting us each morning and causing our hands to slam down on it as we roll over and stick our faces into the pillows, trying to continue to sleep for as long as possible.

If you’re lucky enough to not know about this awful creation, know that it typically stops the sound erupting from your clock or phone at that moment, and will hold the alarm for about five to eight minutes, depending on the brand of the phone or alarm clock. Those five or eight minutes might not seem like they could do a lot of damage, but they add up quickly.

The snooze button seems like it would be a good idea in theory. If you just wanted a few extra minutes of sleep, but still wanted the alarm to be a backup in case those few minutes of just closing your eyes became a few hours of deep sleep, then it is the perfect mechanism for you.

However, most people set alarms because they really do need to wake up at that time, not eight minutes from that time. What good does the snooze button do then? Some of us chronic snooze button users will set our alarms with a small buffer time in precaution of snoozing, but it still gets us (or at least me) every time.

It’s because nobody hits the snooze button just once. Hitting the snooze button only once in the morning is like opening a can of pringles and only eating one of them. It just doesn’t happen. The snooze button is an addiction.

Once you’ve hit it once that morning, you begin to feel the positive benefits of it. You’re still in a nice, warm bed rather than shivering in the middle of your room because there’s bound to be a morning breeze. You’re still lying in bed rather than getting up and interacting with the world.

The negative benefits, all of the thoughts about being late to class or not having enough time to properly do your hair, are pushed to the back of your mind.

They don’t come back until the fourth snooze or so, and by that point, you’re a goner. Don’t worry though, it happens to the best of us.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

Oh, wait. I did it again?