I recently decided that I would do something that I had never done before: I wanted to go to the mall by myself and see a movie in theaters by myself. What prompted this decision was the inevitable boredom that comes from a summer vacation where all of your friends are out of town. After sitting in my room watching YouTube videos got old, I decided that I wanted to get out of the house and see a movie.
This may not seem very exciting for someone who regularly goes out by themselves, but this was a huge step for me. I oftentimes have the mentality that fun things are the most fun when you have someone to share them with. Although this mentality is fine, it often hinders me from doing fun things at all because there isn't someone available. I decided that summer vacation was too precious a time to sit around in my house alone all day, so I ventured out into the world of a self-date (when you take yourself out to do something fun).
Myself and I walked around the mall, had lunch, bought some cute backpack pins, then saw a movie I'd been wanting to see for a while. I sat in the nearly empty movie theater and had a great time. I was uncomfortable at first because a girl walking around by herself just felt weird to me. I thought it would make me look single and lonely, but I am neither of those things. Why can't I just have a day to myself?
This experience taught me something about being independent and how important it is to spend time with yourself. Too much alone time isn't good, but a self-date every now and again is pretty great. You get to slow down and go your own pace instead of having to keep up with someone else's. You get to do what you want when you want to. Although I may have had fun with one of my friends, I still had fun on my own.
After this experience, I've come up with a few tips on how to go on a self-date:
1. Pick a time of day that isn't busy
Whether you're staying at home or going out, pick a time where you won't be surrounded by people. This will make it easier for you to really get some alone time.
2. Do something you've been wanting to do
I had been wanting to see that movie for a while, but I wanted to wait until my boyfriend and I got to see it together. That would have been fine, but I thought to myself, "why not see it now?" We could have just seen it again together at a different time. I was bored, so I did what I wanted to do. It doesn't have to be a movie; it could be taking up an art class or some other activity you've been wanting to try. Just choose something you love to do.
3. Stay off your phone
While I was at the mall, I was texting someone throughout the day. That was fine, but the point of spending time with yourself is to be by yourself. Maybe silence your phone so you can really focus on what's going on around you. Also, avoid the temptation to mindlessly scroll through social media or pretend to do something on your phone just to avoid feeling awkward. I was tempted to do that a couple of times because I didn't know what else to do. I was so used to constant distractions that I didn't know how to pay attention to "the now." Spending time alone really helps with learning how to focus.
4. Get out of the house
Although spending time alone at home is great, that's what I personally was trying to avoid. For me, being alone at home is good for a little while until I get antsy and crave social interaction. Being out and about helped me deal with that craving. Hey, nothing's wrong with staying home for a while after a long day of running around, but if you've been cooped up like I have, you should go out and get some fresh air and stretch your legs.
5. Get dolled up
I put on my makeup and a cute outfit, and went out feeling confident and a little pampered. Sweats and a t-shirt are fine; it's your day, so you should wear and do what you feel most comfortable doing, but for me, feeling a little more put together helped me feel more confident for my first time going out by myself.
Bonus tip. Be careful
I know this is obvious, but I feel like I should mention that safety is an important thing. I went out to a public area during the day, I had my phone with me, and I had told people where I was going. Don't go out by yourself into a potentially dangerous situation. I know that's common sense, but I thought I should mention it.
I hope this self-date experience will be helpful for you. Whether you're a mom who just wants a break or a bored kid like me just wanting to do something fun, this should help out.
Have fun!