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4 Stages Of Eating Bad Chinese Food

Inspired by Chinese menu items

Rachal Childs

Feb 15, 2016

SUNY Geneseo

250

Giphy

You've decided to try eating at a new Chinese restaurant, despite what people have complained to you about how terrible it is. It's time to see for yourself the real verdict of this restaurant. Here are the stages you will go through if, indeed, it is bad.

1. Chow mein stage.

You get the craving for Chinese food and you only have one restaurant in town. You decide to try it. You call them up and order a ton of food due to the fact that it is so cheap. They tell you about 15 minutes. You are starving and 10 minutes later they arrive. You get your food and begin to chow down.

2. Sweet and sour stage.

For as many bad things as you may have heard about the place, the food is not bad, especially for the price! You down your food and begin to develop a food baby. Uh-oh -- your stomach starts to feel a little uneasy.

3. Kung po stage.

It's been about an hour since you devoured your food. You begin to have some serious stomach pains and you think to yourself, What have I done? You stretch out on your bed and hope for the best.

4. The pu-pu platter stage.

Hours later you are in the most vulnerable stage. Your stomach is uneasy and you have to be cautious of every step you take. The flatulence is real and you need to get to the bathroom. Just as quickly as you ate the Chinese food, it is out of you and you couldn't be happier.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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4 Stages Of Eating Bad Chinese Food

Inspired by Chinese menu items

1. Chow mein stage.

2. Sweet and sour stage.

3. Kung po stage.

4. The pu-pu platter stage.

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"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

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8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

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3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

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