I am one of those "lucky" college students who is blessed with having dozens of presentations and public speaking opportunities in all of my college classes. I know that most college students are required to take a public speaking course at least once, but this is a whole new level of ridiculous.

Don't get me wrong—my major is great, but I'll be honest with you: I have a breakdown in this exact order whenever I hear the words "public speaking."

Stage 1: Utter disgust

This is the part where I scrunch up my nose and convince myself NOT to run out of the classroom screaming (trust me, it's a tough decision). Next, I break out into a cold sweat. I try to contain my hatred for public speaking by convincing myself that it will be OK. But...will it really be OK?

Nope. Sorry professors—I do not like public speaking one bit, and no amount of end-of-semester presentations will ever change that.

Stage 2: Is there still goodness in humanity?

This is the part where I become super philosophical and find myself questioning the morality of my professors. I usually make the conclusion that there is no good left in the world...at least, as long as public speaking still exists.

Stage 3: Complete and utter refusal

Dear professors, y'all are killing me, and thus I cannot complete this assignment. Nor will I attempt to complete it in any way. Sorry not sorry.

Stage 4: I should probably just move out of state at this point

This is the part where I plan my exit strategy. Should I drop out, transfer again, or just move out of state and never come back to campus? Those all sound like fantastic options, and it's always a toss-up as to which option is the best.

Stage 5: Facing reality

At this point, I crack out my calculator and slowly/painfully realize that I NEED to give this presentation because it's worth 80% of my grade and I will surely fail the program if I don't pass this class. It's a depressing reality...but they say that acknowledging the problem is part of reaching a solution.

But is there even a solution in this situation?!?

Stage 6: Depressed, yet still moving forward

This is the part where I treat myself on the daily just to make it through the trauma of the project. The future seems bleak, but I'm willing to put that behind me as long as the freezer is stocked with ice cream and I still have some chocolate lying around.

Stage 7: Realizing I don't have the skills/motivation/time to create a "quality" presentation

This is the part where I become SUPER unapologetic about my horrible presentation abilities. You might as well put up a disclaimer during my speech that says "SORRY BUT I LITERALLY JUST CANNOT RIGHT NOW AND Y'ALL CAN SUE ME OR WHATEVER BUT AT LEAST I'M DOING THE STUPID PRESENTATION."

Stage 8: Calling in reinforcements

This is the part where I contact everyone I know for help...advice...a new identity...because I just can't walk this path alone anymore.

Stage 9: Just get it over with already

This is the part where I swallow my pride, round up as many notes as I can, and just give the presentation. This is also the part where I stop caring about my grade or about how awful it's going to sound. It's a horrible situation, but I'm going all-in for these five minutes, and that's all the effort you're getting from me.

Stage 10: Getting the grade back

This is the part where I see my presentation grade, die a little bit on the inside, cry a lot, and try to move on with my life. To quote Michael Scott, "I'm okay. No. I'm not."

This situation was NOT OK AT ALL (seriously professors, quit doing this to me!), but at least it's over and I won't have to deal with public speaking until next semester. P.S. I'm sorry for what I said when I was speaking in front of everyone...I'm pretty sure I blanked and didn't have control over the words coming out of my mouth. Just give me a test next time, please.