So many people nowadays have a twisted idea of love, and this is of great alarm to me. Jealousy and possessiveness are seen as love, even though they should be seen as warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. That isn't love.

Love is meant to be something amazing that involves two people helping each other become better, and not something as messed up like so many of the relationships I see as of late.

Love doesn't say, "I don't want you to be around him. You might leave me for him." Love says, "I trust you."

Love doesn't say, "You shouldn't wear that because I don't want other guys to look at you." Love says, "You look lovely."

Love doesn't say, "Why are you too busy to call me? Are you with someone or something more important than me?" Love says, "I know you have important things going on, and I support you."

Love doesn't say, "You need to cancel your plans tonight and spend more time with me." Love says, "You give me a lot of your time, so I want you to go have fun tonight."

Love doesn't say, "You know, that pretty coworker of mine has been talking to me a lot. I bet that makes you pretty jealous." Love says, "Your beauty is beyond compare."

That isn't love.

I know how it is, though. At first, he isn't like that. He isn't one of those control freaks that you hear stories about. At first, he tells you how beautiful and special you are, and how much you mean to him. He showers you with gifts and affection and makes you feel special.

Then it slowly gets worse. He starts to tell you that he doesn't like that one guy friend of yours and that you go out too much. Your friend group grows smaller, and you notice that he is constantly asking your whereabouts and what you're doing. His doting affection has now become possessive insecurity.

Before you know it, you're at the point of no return. He tells you what not to do, where not to go, who to not talk to and what not to wear. A once happy relationship has become an emotional burden. You wonder what has happened to the man that you thought you were in love with. By now, you feel stuck. You can't leave, because behind his controlling manipulation, you still see the man you love.

To those of you at this point right now: you can leave. Leave before it escalates into something worse, because he isn't the man you once thought he was. It is never too late to become free. You will realize what love is supposed to be and that this isn't it. You deserve better.

To those who have never come to this point: Learn from the mistakes of others, instead of learning it for yourself. Know the warning signs. Love will build you up, and if you feel trapped, then that isn't love.

Love doesn't freak out at you when you say something wrong, and it doesn't ignore your calls for multiple days. Love doesn't make you delete all your friends of the opposite gender off of Snapchat, and it doesn't try to make you jealous as well. Love doesn't need to know what you're doing, who you're with and where you are at all times of every day. Love doesn't give you a curfew, and it doesn't go through your phone every day. Love doesn't force you to cut off friendships, and it doesn't keep you from chasing your dreams.That isn't love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 portrays a beautiful image of love: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Hold out for this. That is love.