With Father's Day right around the corner, I thought an ode to my dad must be in order, especially since he's that dad.
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A lot of people will raise hell about significant others doing almost everything together. That used to be normal, right? But so was chivalry. A lot of things have changed over the years, and norms are no longer cool. But one thing will never change in my opinion is that your significant other should also be your best friend.
Why? Let's define "best friend," according to Urban Dictionary,
"Best Friends are very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you're sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, coz it would be too painful to watch you get hurt."
Um, excuse me, does that not sound like your significant other? It should, in my opinion. My boyfriend is my best friend. He was for four years before we dated, and we have been dating for three. So do the math: Best friends for seven years, and we haven't gotten tired of each other yet. It is OK to consider your boyfriend as your best friend. They should be. They should be there for everything from a should to cry on to celebrating your biggest accomplishments. That's what mine does.
My boyfriend is my best friend because...
1. He is always there.
He might not answer his phone all the time, but he is always there. There is no doubt in my mind he would drive three hours through the night to make me feel better when I am down — because he has.
2. He makes me laugh and smile.
If you can find someone who can make you laugh and smile by doing the smallest of things, then keep them. It is hard to find.
3. He annoys the crap out of me sometimes.
That is what best friends/boyfriends do: Annoy the crap out of you. Sometimes. But you love every minute of it because you love them, and somehow you'll laugh about it later.
4. He treats me like one of the guys but also a princess all at the same time.
If you don't get this, then he probably isn't your best friend. If you get it, then you know the term "you date one, you get them all." And you somehow know way too much about all his guy friends because you go to beer and wings every once in a while.
5. He believes in me.
Everyone needs a cheerleader, a cheerleader that knows your biggest strengths and your worst weaknesses. He sits back and cheers me on when I got in on my own, but the second I throw the white towel in for help, he is there to give me that extra boost.
6. There is no such thing as anything private.
If you are best friends, you don't really care what the other person thinks because they are used to it. There is no such thing as privacy, modesty, or awkwardness in your relationship. If you don't get it, you're missing out. Getting to be your complete self around your significant other is probably better than sliced bread.
7. He knows everything and still loves me.
Literally everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Trust me on the ugly — he's tried to wake me up in the mornings. It is such a blessing knowing that when you are at the end of your rope and are struggling, you can go to them and be like, "Well, here I am. Love me." No one is perfect, so it is nice to have someone who knows I am human and will make mistakes.
Being in love with your best friend is probably the best feeling ever. I used to laugh when older adults would say, "You will end up marrying your best friend." I thought they were crazy. Having your boyfriend as your best friend is a blessing, you always have someone to go on an adventure with no matter what. The adventure is life.
There are very few people I know who dislike the Gilmore Girls TV show. We've all admired the quiet and idyllic town of Stars Hollow and the warm and cozy feel of Luke's Diner. We've all experienced the highs and lows of Rory growing up, and we've loved choosing whether we're team Dean, Jess or Logan. We've all appreciated Rory's literary references, Sookie's love for baking and Kirk and Taylors' quirky personalities. But one of the most entertaining aspects of the show has to the dynamics between Lorelai and her daughter, Rory.
For me, Lorelai and Rory's witty and comedic banter makes the show. I can't imagine being part of such a peppy, caffeine-and-takeout-food-loving duo that always knows the funny thing to say. Wherever these two go – whether it's the town hall meeting or Luke's Diner for the third time in a day – they manage to have a ball of a time because they have each other. And honestly, who wouldn't want that? Watching this TV show has led me to idealize their seemingly-flawless mother-daughter relationship, and to examine my own.
My mom and I are on completely different planes on cultural references, so our conversations don't include jokes about the latest actors and shows. We'd want to go home to take a nap if we were to walk endlessly arm-in-arm around our own hometown, and we would be out of a house and home if we spent as much time at our local dinner as Rory and Lorelai do. Not to mention that, if my Mom and I imitated the Gilmores in consuming copious amounts of food and coffee, we'd explode.
As much as I love the Gilmore bond, I'm still glad that I got the mom that I did. Unlike Lorelai and Rory's relationship, there is a clear mother-daughter divide between us, which I have learned to appreciate. My mom has been there to guide me through both amazing and challenging times and to give me wisdom that she's learned from years of experience. She's been present to give me encouragement about how to do life and how to make friends and how to deal with that one person who's really bugging you. And she acts like a moral authority and encourages me to always be the best me that I can be.
I'm not saying Lorelai doesn't do these things – in many ways, I see her being encouraging and uplifting and altogether-awesome, just like a mom should be. But I also know that she falls into the big sister role because of the smaller age gap between her and Rory, so she fills the shoes of motherhood in a different way.
Although we're not Gilmore girls, I am still thankful for the happy home life that I have. For one thing, I'm so fortunate to have a Dad who lives in our house. My mom and dad's marriage are strong and full of love and makes a house a home. And while I understand that Rory doesn't have a stay-at-home dad as a staple (Gilmore Guys just isn't as catchy), I definitely appreciate the perks of that in my own life. Similarly, it's also really, really nice that my mom gets along well with my grandparents! Sure, we don't have weekly Friday-night dinners with them, but I'm glad that every time we do get together, we don't have awkward dinner-time arguments at the table.
And yeah, even though we aren't Rory and Gilmore, my mom is still one of my best friends. We go mall shopping until either her back gives up or we need to pick up my little brother. We sing along in the car to ABBA music and we laugh about the latest drama in our church. We go on exciting outings, like free movie showings at the library and local teahouses. I try to be interested in her historical fiction dramas, and she tries not to be shocked by my comedy shows. We spill the tea together – even though she's still not 100% sure what 'tea' means. I'd love to be a Gilmore girl, but all the same, I'm glad my mom and I aren't. She's still the Lorelai to my Rory – if Lorelai were a cardigan-clad, nap-loving woman who sneaks vegetables into our dinners. And you don't need to be a Gilmore girl to have someone you can do the adventure called life alongside with.
All in all, I'd say we are more than blessed if we have someone we can follow, where they lead.