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Thanksgiving

5 Reasons Why Thanksgiving Is The Superior Holiday

These are all facts and no tea, sis.

Zachary Kyle Winograd

Nov 21, 2018

The Narrative

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Let's get one thing straight: Thanksgiving has got nothing on Christmas. Sure, you get presents on Christmas and watch "A Christmas Story" on repeat, but Thanksgiving is a holiday dedicated entirely to EATING! If there's one thing I love doing more than sleeping, it's eating, especially if it's covered in gravy. I know some of your Christmas stans will get mad at me for spilling the tea like this, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

Now, sit back, relax, and feast on a turkey leg while I spill the gravy, sis.

1. Christmas presents are obsolete, turkey is forever.

Unlike Christmas presents, Thanksgiving leftovers will last you forever. You'll use up your Christmas presents and they'll lose their appeal and you'll get bored of them, but not with Thanksgiving leftovers. Want some mash potatoes? Thanksgiving got you covered. Want a turkey sandwich for lunch? Just carve off a piece of the bird in the fridge. You won't be throwing out your Thanksgiving leftovers anytime soon but you will be throwing out that empty canister of body spray from Bath and Body Works that you got for Christmas.

2. Thanksgiving is appropriate every day of the year.

You can't celebrate Christmas during the summer, but you can with Thanksgiving. Feel like making some cranberry sauce? Want your friends to help you? call them up and invite them to dinner but give them Thanksgiving food. Want to hang up pictures of turkeys and have a cornucopia on your table? go right ahead! Christmas decorations can seem tacky and out of place but Thanksgiving decorations make your home look tasteful and inviting.

3. You don't have to make a wish list

One of the most stressful things for the holidays is making a wish list of all the things I want for the holidays. Then, you gotta hope that your relatives understand what you want so that they don't get you the wrong thing. You don't have to do that for Thanksgiving. The only list you gotta make for Thanksgiving is your shopping list and who's sitting where.

4. Not as many people traveling

The worst part about Christmas? the traveling. Have you seen the roads and airports on Christmas? it's insane! Luckily, Thanksgiving is a little lighter on the travel, making it easier for you and your family to get where you're going.

5. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

And here we have it, folks, the main reason why Thanksgiving is so much better than Christmas: The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I love this capitalist propaganda fest so much: The Broadway performances, the colorful balloons and floats, the irrelevant music artists trying to become relevant again by lipsynching their way through a Chrismas song, and the awkward balloon handlers and children that wave to the crowds and cameras as they walk by. It is an event not to be missed.

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5 Reasons Why Thanksgiving Is The Superior Holiday

These are all facts and no tea, sis.

1. Christmas presents are obsolete, turkey is forever.

2. Thanksgiving is appropriate every day of the year.

3. You don't have to make a wish list

4. Not as many people traveling

5. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

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Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

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Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

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