I Want To Say Thanks To Donald Trump And Bill Clinton

I Want To Say Thanks To Donald Trump And Bill Clinton

This is the most we've talked about this ever.
Jessica
Jessica
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I want to say thanks to Donald Trump and Bill Clinton. Both of these men have put a spotlight on women's issues that has never been seen before. This entire election, so far, has had a focus on how Donald Trump and Bill Clinton treat women. It was released that Trump said extremely lewd comments about women. Before the critics come, I am aware Bill Clinton is an accused rapist and also cheated on his wife. But, I mean, basically, that's kind of the point. People are literally fighting over which man (even though Bill can't be president again and Hillary is running) treated women more terribly. People are saying, well Trump isn't so bad since Clinton is a rapist. People are also saying, well Clinton isn't so bad because Trump talks about boob jobs and routinely demeans women and calls them fat pigs.

Nonetheless both of these men have committed despicable acts against women and have done extremely lewd things or have condoned extremely lewd things. But that's why I'm saying thanks. I want to say thanks because Trump showcased the power many assaulters, rapists, and abusers want to have. They want to be able to grope women whenever they want. They want to look down on women. They want to be able to say "I am a famous person and I get all the women I want" and "I can do whatever I want to women". Or, just, you know, they think they deserve it. Trump is reaffirming what every woman's mind already knows - you go into the subway and you get stared at because of the same kind of mindset. You go to a store and you're groped, and no, they didn't just bump into you by accident. You walk home and you're followed, and no, it isn't because he just happens to live in the same area. He took you furniture shopping or out to dinner because, well, he wanted to move on you (actual part of video). He is using breath spray because he might just try to kiss you, and might just not ask. Even just the part of the video when Billy Bush asks if the woman who's met them will hug Donald and him - that reaffirms everything I knew. Predatory men want hugs when you're attractive. It is worth noting however Trump has also been accused of rape and sexual assault.

I guess I want to thank Trump for giving a behind the scenes view of what that mentality looks like. Every woman who has been groped on the subway, followed home, or otherwise gotten unwanted attention may finally feel validated. That she's not crazy, not overthinking it and not paranoid. But I want to thank Clinton too.

This is not a political thing, either. Bill Clinton did it too, he was just more charismatic about it and it's more often ignored. Bill Clinton is an accused rapist for many women. He would bring them into a hotel or private room and assault or rape them. I'm not putting all the details here, all you need to do is Google it. He would force them to touch him. He would force them to commit sex acts or pin them down. He, too, reiterates what every woman already knows - men who have power also try to use you for sex, whether you want it or not. Just look at Bill Cosby. Granted, yes, these acts aren't proven in a court of law, but many of these acts cannot be proven as they are private in nature. It is not often someone is raped in the middle of Times Square at 5 PM. Bill Clinton is a fantastic example of why some women just don't want to be alone with their male bosses. Bill Clinton is a fantastic example of why the glass ceiling and gender divide in certain occupations even exists - because workplace harassment is still a thing, and male bosses in the past placed women in uncomfortable situations. Bill Clinton is a wonderful example of an untouchable man and the very reason why statistics show some women sleep with their bosses to get a promotion. Bill Clinton is what it looks like when a woman is raped or assaulted by a man, "but he's such a good guy".

The fact is, whether it is Donald Trump or Bill Clinton, this election is being highlighted by behavior of men toward women. Whether your focus is Bill Clinton's accused rapes and extra-marital affairs or Donald Trump saying "bleeding out of her wherever", this is the first time in an election cycle where women are being fought over that isn't resembling a romcom movie. Everyone is fighting over who's treated us more collectively awful. That is also fairly appropriate considering that a woman was nominated for president, whether you love her or hate her.

But while everyone is arguing about who's treated us worse, let me just remind you: Don't be like either of them. Let both of them act as the guidelines of how to not act around women, please and thank you. Never have I felt like such an ordinary experience for women came into the spotlight - stuff like being groped and the part where Donald Trump says he doesn't need to ask to kiss a woman. Everyone is shocked and outraged but I can say I have never been on the subway with Donald Trump and I have been groped. I can say I have never been in a store with Donald Trump and I have been followed around. I can say I have never been at work with Donald Trump and I've gotten unwanted attention. Many assault survivors have never been in the room with Bill Clinton, either (thank God for that), but they've been in the room with their own assaulters. They have been silenced and not taken seriously. They haven't reported it, either, because it's too hard to prove and too traumatic of a road to go down. These two men are a symptom of a larger disease that is society's views of women and the power people think they have over them.

If you're outraged by Donald Trump and Bill Clinton, I suggest you watch your own behaviors and try to modify them. If you're outraged by their actions, then please be the change that is necessary. Donald Trump and Bill Clinton aren't the only people condoning these behaviors and you need to get your head out of the dirt if you think they are. There are everyday men (and women, but to a lesser extent) walking around who believe some of these things. They have friends, family, and siblings. While nobody can make someone change their mindset, it is up to the friends, family, and siblings to try to educate them. If you're outraged, educate your brother, father, son, nephew, grandson - whoever - that he shouldn't do this either. Let him know he can't do anything he wants. Let him know he can't grab us wherever he wants. Let him know he can't just kiss us because he feels like it or he can't control himself around women. He can't just rape women because he's powerful and he can't just have an affair because he's powerful. In some circles, if these men were not about to become powerful in this election, this sort of talk would almost certainly be celebrated among men. How do I know this? Just look around the internet. In addition, whenever a rape victim actually reports it and it breaks as a news story, one of the results is hoards of comments of victim blaming.

If you're outraged, stop victim blaming. Stop calling us paranoid. Stop justifying behavior from men you know or are related to because they "seem nice". Stop making sexist jokes. That is not to say all men are predatory - that simply isn't true.

Go against the societal norm. You'd be surprised how many are sexist.

Cover Image Credit: dailymail.co.uk

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Saying You "Don't Take Political Stances" IS A Political Stance

All you're doing by saying this is revealing your privilege to not care politically, and here's why that's a problem.

bethkrat
bethkrat
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I'm sure all of us know at least one person who refuses to engage in political discussions - sure, you can make the argument that there is a time and a place to bring up the political happenings of our world today, but you can't possibly ignore it all the time. You bring up the last ridiculous tweet our president sent or you try to discuss your feelings on the new reproductive regulation bills that are rising throughout the states, and they find any excuse to dip out as quickly as possible. They say I don't talk about politics, or I'm apolitical. Well everyone, I'm here to tell you why that's complete bullsh*t.

Many people don't have the luxury and privilege of ignoring the political climate and sitting complacent while terrible things happen in our country. So many issues remain a constant battle for so many, be it the systematic racism that persists in nearly every aspect of our society, the fact that Flint still doesn't have clean water, the thousands of children that have been killed due to gun violence, those drowning in debt from unreasonable medical bills, kids fighting for their rights as citizens while their families are deported and separated from them... you get the point. So many people have to fight every single day because they don't have any other choice. If you have the ability to say that you just don't want to have anything to do with politics, it's because you aren't affected by any failing systems. You have a privilege and it is important to recognize it.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "history will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people."

We recognize that bad people exist in this world, and we recognize that they bring forth the systems that fail so many people every single day, but what is even more important to recognize are the silent majority - the people who, by engaging in neutrality, enable and purvey the side of the oppressors by doing nothing for their brothers and sisters on the front lines.

Maybe we think being neutral and not causing conflict is supposed to be about peacekeeping and in some way benefits the political discussion if we don't try to argue. But if we don't call out those who purvey failing systems, even if it's our best friend who says something homophobic, even if it's our representatives who support bills like the abortion ban in Alabama, even if it's our president who denies the fact that climate change is killing our planet faster than we can hope to reverse it, do we not, in essence, by all accounts of technicality side with those pushing the issues forward? If we let our best friend get away with saying something homophobic, will he ever start to change his ways, or will he ever be forced to realize that what he's said isn't something that we can just brush aside? If we let our representatives get away with ratifying abortion bans, how far will the laws go until women have no safe and reasonable control over their own bodily decisions? If we let our president continue to deny climate change, will we not lose our ability to live on this planet by choosing to do nothing?

We cannot pander to people who think that being neutral in times of injustice is a reasonable stance to take. We cannot have sympathy for people who decide they don't want to care about the political climate we're in today. Your attempts at avoiding conflict only make the conflict worse - your silence in this aspect is deafening. You've given ammunition for the oppressors who take your silence and apathy and continue to carry forth their oppression. If you want to be a good person, you need to suck it up and take a stand, or else nothing is going to change. We need to raise the voices of those who struggle to be heard by giving them the support they need to succeed against the opposition.

With all this in mind, just remember for the next time someone tells you that they're apolitical: you know exactly which side they're on.

bethkrat
bethkrat

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