My Dearest Uber Driver,

You really came in clutch tonight. Honestly, if I had to walk just another step in those wedges, I don’t think I would have made it. Though you are merely a stranger to me, I feel as though we have bonded during the 20-minute ride we shared together. You are more than just a cab driver to me. No, you are much better than that, and you deserve all the credit.

Thank you for being our own personal DJ.

As soon as you whipped out that aux cord, I knew it was about to go down. Everyone’s favorite Fetty Wap anthem poured out of the speakers and melted our hearts. As we all singalong (maybe a little too loud), you don’t even think of hushing us. Instead, you crank up the volume and let us enjoy the tune.

Thank you for being a celebrity.
That’s right, you are the star of all of our Snapchat stories. Your constant cameos are what complete our Snapchat story and provide a laugh for all.

Thank you for being patient.

While I’m sure dealing with screaming drunk girls isn’t how you would like to spend your Saturday nights, we are more than appreciative of your patience and tolerance of noise. OK, so maybe I shouldn’t have stuck my head out the window like a dog, but you didn’t stop me, and for that I thank you.

Thank you for squeezing eight of my friends into your small Nissan.
We don’t mind “lapping” it but we understand you could have gotten into a great deal of trouble. I know you assumed a huge risk in helping us out, but let it be known that your act of kindness is not going unnoticed.

Thank you for your generous gifts.

Your caring heart not only provides us with transportation, but also a bottle of water and sometimes even a stick of gum.

Thank you for answering my every question.
But to be quite honest, I genuinely want to hear about your wife, kids and where you’re from. However, I do apologize for asking your name multiple times. It’s not you, it’s me ... or the amount of alcohol consumed tonight.

Sure, we could have called any old cab and dealt with a sketchy character shuttling us around, but that just wouldn’t be the same. Uber driver, you are the real MVP, and without you, our night would be incomplete and lacking excitement. We’d also probably be stranded. I look forward to many crazy nights to come with you as the driving force behind it all. See what I did there? ;)

All My Love,
A Frequent Uber Passenger