Love is very complicated.
We as humans love love. We want to be loved, and we want to love someone back. Unfortunately, the first person we fall in love with usually isn't the person we end up spending our lives with. (I say usually because my boyfriends' parents have been together since they were fifteen, and they are each other's first loves.) I can say easily that my first love is not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, even though at the time, I thought he was my world.
Exes are like looking at yourself growing up. You see yourself in different phases, and you always come out of those relationships a different person. My exes reflect this completely, I feel as if even though I am only twenty-one, I look back, and I can say that through those relationships, I have grown up A LOT.
I just wanted to say thank you to these boys, I say boys and not men because a man would not treat me the way you all have treated me. I am not saying in any way possible that I am the "perfect" girlfriend, because I too have my own faults, like everyone else. But, the way you all have treated me isn't exactly ideal. A man would never take my virginity, and then dump me a week later, getting exactly what you wanted. A man would not promise me he would "come home and want me to marry him," to dump me after he graduates from Boot Camp. A man wouldn't tear me down emotionally, and make me feel like I am second to him. A man would treat me with the utmost respect, a man would make me want to be a better person, and a man would love me for me, even with my faults. But, I also want to say thank you. Thank you for showing me what a partner should not do. Thank you for showing me what love isn't- and what love might be.
I know that I might not have been the best girlfriend ever, but I never cheated on any of you. I never screamed in your faces and told you what a bitch you are or lied to you through love letters, that meant the absolute world to me. I never gave you false promises. I never took your virginity and left you hanging out to dry, confused and hurt. You boys, though, have made me a better partner in future relationships. After these ugly relationships ended, I saw things in myself I did not like. I learned from these things, and use/used them in future relationships, including the one I am in now.
I don't want you all to think I hate you, I don't. Though I think to myself sometimes, "what was I thinking?" when I see some of you, I just want you to know that even though I don't talk to you, I hope that you all have happiness in your lives. I hope you find the right person for you like I have found for myself. I thank you for the experiences I have had, and the things I have learned from you all along the way. I hope you all end up with the goals you have set for yourself.