A thank you? Yes.

Because of the pain you inflicted upon me, I have grown stronger and more mature.

Because of the behavioral patterns of yours, I have a greater understanding of how and why people act certain ways. Whether there is something bigger going on in your life, making you angry and cold inside. Or if this is the behavior that has been modeled for you.

I resented people who told me, "They're just jealous." If someone was jealous of me, why would they pick me apart? My appearance, apparel, talents, and quirks- you name it, it was under the spotlight for criticism.

However, with age I realize my friends and family that advised me to view it as jealousy, were rather correct. On top of that, I was a "perfect target". I was kind, quieter, and different. Enlarging the target on my back, I also stood up to other bullies when I witnessed someone being bullied.

So I get it... Not then... But I get it now...

Hell, back then I felt like a waste of space. Everything about me, inside and out, seemed beyond imperfect. It seemed like I was the only one out to protect myself.

To the girl that called me, an innocent child, a "SLUT"- you introduced me to the patterns of most teenage girls. Girls tend to throw around derogation terms as if there is no meaning attached. Since I couldn't relate to the definition, rumors had to be created.

To the boy who said, "What? Do you think you're beautiful or something?" when I dressed up as Sleeping Beauty for Disney day at school- you taught me that some boys think they have to put one girl down to make another girl feel better.

To the lunch table who on two separate occasions threw food at me during lunch- you all taught me that having all eyes on me isn't much fun. At least not when drenched in food and being laughed at. But seriously, you all taught me that sometimes people do cruel things just for a laugh.

To the "friends" that intentionally planned a larger party on the day of my birthday, inviting everyone but me- you all taught me that sometimes it takes a disappointment to realize I deserve better people surrounding me.

To the girl who started a ruckus in the locker room, taunting others to look at my body with claims as "Anorexic much?", "She has some weird bone disease or something..."- you taught me that no matter how insecure a person is, a jealous person can make that person much more insecure.

To the girl who stole my jersey on game day, in attempt to and in hopes of me not playing- I played the average three minutes like always. You taught me that some people, even teammates, will hope to see you fall.

To the girls that would move seats whenever I sat near them- you taught me that a lot can be learned within my own head. I didn't have to sit with people at lunch. I found books I much rather preferred.

To the girl who mocked me and recorded me while I gave a book presentation about Thirteen Reasons, which is a rather heavy-hearted book that covers suicide and survivor's remorse- you taught me that even the most serious of messages can be mocked if the speaker is disliked.

I am seventeen now. I didn't think I would make it past thirteen. A large amount of my stress and depression was linked to the bullying I endured. I always wished I was once I an awful person, anything- I just wanted there to be some reason as to why I was deserving of such maltreatment. I didn't understand then, what I know now.

I no longer spend lunchtime in the bathroom. I no longer wear baggy clothes to hide my frail body. I no longer hide my test scores. I no longer perceive others' words and actions my fault.

I am no longer the "perfect target."

I am beautifully me. I was never deserving of any of this, but I am a better person now. Had it broken me, I wouldn't be able to say this. But I am here, and will not back down.

To anyone out there facing a bully- whether it's at home, in a relationship, at school, on the bus, on the internet- you are not alone.