There are so many articles thanking exes. Ex-significant-others, ex-best-friends, exes. I cannot get myself to like these posts. I appreciate the honesty and the vulnerability. However, I am too stubborn to thank my exes. I do not want to thank these people for being selfish, for letting me down, for letting me believe that there is something innately wrong with me. These exes told me that I was not enough, that I was the problem, that I wasn't worth the effort or the title. I don't want to thank them for that. I am not bitter; I am over them. However, that does not mean I need to be in a place to thank them for where I am now.

My exes don't deserve a thank you. The girl who chose a boy over me does not earn my gratitude. The boy who led me on for an extra two months does not claim my relieved tears. Sure, I am thankful for my growth from the experience. That doesn't mean I am thankful for the person who put me there. They are not special for hurting me. That happens all of the time. If I wrote a thank you letter to each person that made me cry hateful, miserable tears, I would have to spend even more time procrastinating my homework.

Instead, I want to thank the people who came after. The best friends who send me Odyssey articles and give me tissues when I need them. The significant other who makes me laugh, who tells me I am still worth it when I cry, who always calls me on his drive home. These people matter more than the exes. My exes put me in a place where growth could happen, but the people who came after initiated that growth. The people who are still in my life taught me that I am strong enough to move on, to grow, to be happy, to be vulnerable. They helped me through the heartbreak and the insecurities. They see my emotions and decide to stay. The people who deserve my gratitude are not the selfish people of my past, but the caring people who continue to help me grow.

To those people, thank you for staying with me. You witness my messiness, and you decide to stay even though I am not easy to deal with. Thank you for knowing that ice cream is the best answer to tears. Thank you for answering my frazzled messages. Thank you for being patient when I am not at my best. Thank you for forgiving me when my insecurities are too much. Thank you for staying up when I need you. Thank you for helping me stand on my own two feet, and teaching my that I am stronger than I feel. Thank you for saying that I am worth it. Thank you for holding my hand all of the time. Thank you for driving to visit me. Thank you for being good people. Thank you for making everything hurt less. Thank you for teaching me that I am more than what my exes insinuated I was. I love you all.

I am too stubborn to thank the people who put me in a situation that requires growth. They don't deserve it; their actions were selfish and ignorant and degrading. I don't hate them, I just hope that they do not make others feel the way I once did. I just don't think they deserve my gratitude.

I am more grateful for the people that made me realize growth was possible. For the people who taught me there was more to me. I am thankful for the selfless non-exes who are still around.