I've never been good at friendships.
I was always the kid who was nice to everyone or befriended the ones who didn't really have anyone else to play with at school... but sometimes that really came back to bite me in the butt.
I would end up friending the "bad" kids or the drama-stirrers, but I always tried to find the best in everyone around me. Lots of times, these "friends" would be the same kids who would get me in trouble, or throw me under the bus when they'd get in trouble. I've always been somewhat of a pushover.
Then as I continued growing up, I'd stumble upon a couple friends who were more sticky in my life. We'd do the regular little kid stuff: have sleepovers, play with our dolls, watch Disney movies, and eat way too much sugar.
But sometimes friends would just leave me. They were "too good" for me anymore and found better friends to associate with. This took a toll on me for a while; why wouldn't they want to be friends with me? What's wrong with me? Why are those other people better?
I'd eventually carry on.
Come to find out, I've always been the kind of person who'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies. I've never needed a posse of people swarmed around me to make me feel loved or good about myself. All I need are a couple great pals that genuinely care about me.
This has carried me through high school and college, too. I'm always cordial to others, and I know lots of great people. But only to a select few will I give my heart and soul to.
So, thank you to the old "friends" that left me for others, or made me feel insignificant. Because of them, I have built the character and tough skin I have today. I've come to cherish certain relationships and keep a cognizant eye on others.
Because of them, I know who and what is important to keep relevant in my life. I know life is easier going when it's empty of drama and full of friends that are tried and true.
Thank you for a turbulent childhood that turned into a quality adulthood.