Love is a messy, messy process. It is a great thing in the beginning, and falling for someone is probably one of the greatest feelings in the world. You become completely infatuated with this person, and can’t help but always want to be with them. Although this part sounds incredible, what about the part when you’re left heartbroken? Better yet, how do you bring up to this new perfect guy that you’ve been hurt in the past, and these enormous walls that have been built around your heart have nothing to do with him?

You’ve been through this process before. The guy started out perfect in the beginning. Your dream boy was actually real. Things were going well for awhile, but then all of a sudden his view of you changed. He became cold, distant, unrecognizable, and that’s the nice way of describing him.

Even months after a breakup, it can be hard to get rid of the sting that your ex left. It’s not that you still have feelings for him, it’s that you’re scared to have feelings for someone else. Should the hurt of your past make you cautious for future relationships?

The simple answer to this is no. Then why does it continue to happen? No two guys are the same, so one shouldn’t be treated the same way as the one who hurt you. So what is the best way to shake off the hurt of an old relationship and allow yourself to give a new guy a chance?

Listed below are 5 reasons why it is crucial to leave the past in the past and step into your future.

1. It’s a different relationship

More than likely, your last relationship taught you a lot about yourself. It brought out both your good and bad side, and instead of contemplating on the bad learn from them. Keep in mind things you can improve on, and put those to use in this new relationship.

2. You can’t control this

To the girl (like myself) who tries to control every situation, falling for a person is not one of them. You can’t control the way you feel about a person, and that should be seen as an exciting process, not a stressful one.

3. Fresh start

This is a new relationship and a new time. This is NOT your last relationship, and there is no way to solidify that it will end the same way. Get to know the person, and have fun. You never know where this will lead.

4. Different guy

Who’s to say that this guy is going to hurt you like the last one? That gives a negative perspective on the relationship before you even give the guy an honest chance. You can’t compare the two because it will only result in you constructing things in your head that are untrue about the new guy.

5. Just try it

You can’t sit around cursing off men, and thinking they are all the same. They are not. There are tons of great guys, and just because you got hurt in the past does not mean it is going to happen to you again, however, it’s more likely to if you have a negative view going into a new relationship.