Ten months. Ten months ago, my world crashed down around me. I saw no hope for my future. Everything I had once known had become everything that wouldn't happen. All those plans he and I had together were down the drain. I had to take that ring off my left finger, I had to say goodbye to our German Shepard for the last time, and I had to learn to accept life without him. I never want to experience that type of heartbreak ever again. It destroyed my entire life as I had known it.

The days seemed to get long, the nights even longer. Waking up was hard. I'd have a moment of feeling okay, and then it would all hit me. That lingering pain in my heart stayed there for months. That temptation to try to reach out to him still lingers around even to this day. That anger that built up inside of me not because he cheated and moved on, but because I felt like I was the reason it all ended the way it did.

I lost the person I had originally thought was going to be my forever. When I lost him, I lost myself too. I lost track of all motivation that I had once had, which didn't just affect my spring semester of college but also carried into the rest of the year.

I admitted myself into intense therapy because it all became too much. My weeks would consist of individual therapy twice a week and group therapy once a week. Overtime my therapist and I saw growth within me, slowly but surely accepting that the situation had played out the way it did. Accepting the fact that he was merely just a memory of the last two years. Accepting the fact that he was with the girl he cheated on me with for a long time.

I ignored the warning signs for so long. I ignored the fact that I was in a very, very toxic relationship. An abusive relationship.

Overtime I felt myself feel okay, then better, then eventually I felt free. Free from the misery he, and his family, had brought me over the two years we dated. Free from a love that wasn't really love but merely the idea of love. Free from a situation that only held me back from following my dreams.

Three months after I found out he was engaged, and three months after that married. Now they're getting divorced. I guess karma really does its thing—I will admit I was the happiest when I found out they split, but deep down I feel bad for him. Maybe it's just because I'm a caring person, but also maybe it's because I predicted it would happen.

He put me through hell and back, but I can't hate him. What good is hating someone? I honestly wish him the best of luck in his life even to this day, and I have forgiven him, but I am glad he is no longer in my life.

Without the situation he put me through, I wouldn't know what to avoid when it comes to relationships. Without the lessons he taught me, I wouldn't have been as careful as I am now with letting a guy in. without the breakup, I wouldn't have found who I'm with now—someone that treats me the way I'm supposed to be treated. Someone that treats me like a queen.

Although the relationship brought me trauma and fear, it has done more for me than I ever thought it would. I am stronger because of him. I am smarter because of him. I know my self-worth because of him, and I definitely do not deserve such toxic "love."

Ten months. Ten months ago, I thought my world was over, but ten months later I am happier than I was during those two years with him and I am with someone that cherishes me and that loves me in a healthy way.