Ten Thoughts That Every Nanny Has Had
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Health and Wellness

Ten Thoughts That Every Nanny Has Had

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Ten Thoughts That Every Nanny Has Had
Lauren Seago

1.) No, I am not a teen mom- I get it. I look young. Well probably because I am young. This child that is currently clinging on to me like saran wrap is not my offspring. So please, for the love of God, stop giving me dirty looks.

2.) Please, sweet child, take a nap- You have the greatest life in all the land. I don't understand why you will not lay your sweet head on your pillow and sleep. Shoot, if I were you I would sleep all day.

3.) You signed us up for what? Swimming lessons?- Great. I will be in a pool with a small screaming infant who does not want to swim. Do I wear a one-piece or a two-piece? Maybe a one-piece that way I'm not showing too much skin.

4.) A trip to the grocery store, a.k.a you mean a small glimpse of what hell looks like?- Everyone and their mother is here today. Shoot, they're looking at me. I hope they know this isn't my kid. I just had to run some errands. Please, stop looking. Please, Please.

5.) Hissy fit because I am not making your bottle fast enough, I feel you small child- I am moving as fast as I can. Milk can only re-heat in a microwave so fast. I know you're hungry, but the tears? Really tears? Oh yes, it's done. Here you go, shhh.

6.) Oh no, poop. Poop galore.- How in the sweet Lord's name did you poop so much that it's up your back? Oh my gosh, even in your lush baby fine hair?! Please come here so I can strip you and we can get this bath brewing.

7.) Arts and crafts; great, you're eating paint.- I set up this beautiful fun table fun of goods and I look up to find you eating paint. Good thing I bought the non-toxic kind or poison control would be on speed dial.

8.) I just want to poop in peace- Yes, I know you want to be in here with me. I know I am your lifeline, but I just want five minutes to be alone in peace. Oh, there's your small fingers coming under the crack of the door. Beautiful, come on in, would love to have you.

9.) Why yes, I would love to share my water bottle with you- Sweet, I just filled this up with fresh pure water and now there are small chunks of your lunch floating about. I bet I have even drank some of them, gross.

10.) Having over 100 pictures of my fake child, in my camera roll is completely normal.- Having over 100 pictures of my nanny child, in my camera roll, is completely normal. when I face the dreaded "cannot take photo" blurb that appears, I know I have entered mom life. He may irritate me at times, but he is my sweet peach whom I have watched grow over the last year. So go ahead and laugh at the hundreds of picture I have of him. He is wonderful, even when he is ripping my hair out.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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