Ten Thoughts That Every Nanny Has Had
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Ten Thoughts That Every Nanny Has Had

Ten Thoughts That Every Nanny Has Had
Lauren Seago

1.) No, I am not a teen mom- I get it. I look young. Well probably because I am young. This child that is currently clinging on to me like saran wrap is not my offspring. So please, for the love of God, stop giving me dirty looks.

2.) Please, sweet child, take a nap- You have the greatest life in all the land. I don't understand why you will not lay your sweet head on your pillow and sleep. Shoot, if I were you I would sleep all day.

3.) You signed us up for what? Swimming lessons?- Great. I will be in a pool with a small screaming infant who does not want to swim. Do I wear a one-piece or a two-piece? Maybe a one-piece that way I'm not showing too much skin.

4.) A trip to the grocery store, a.k.a you mean a small glimpse of what hell looks like?- Everyone and their mother is here today. Shoot, they're looking at me. I hope they know this isn't my kid. I just had to run some errands. Please, stop looking. Please, Please.

5.) Hissy fit because I am not making your bottle fast enough, I feel you small child- I am moving as fast as I can. Milk can only re-heat in a microwave so fast. I know you're hungry, but the tears? Really tears? Oh yes, it's done. Here you go, shhh.

6.) Oh no, poop. Poop galore.- How in the sweet Lord's name did you poop so much that it's up your back? Oh my gosh, even in your lush baby fine hair?! Please come here so I can strip you and we can get this bath brewing.

7.) Arts and crafts; great, you're eating paint.- I set up this beautiful fun table fun of goods and I look up to find you eating paint. Good thing I bought the non-toxic kind or poison control would be on speed dial.

8.) I just want to poop in peace- Yes, I know you want to be in here with me. I know I am your lifeline, but I just want five minutes to be alone in peace. Oh, there's your small fingers coming under the crack of the door. Beautiful, come on in, would love to have you.

9.) Why yes, I would love to share my water bottle with you- Sweet, I just filled this up with fresh pure water and now there are small chunks of your lunch floating about. I bet I have even drank some of them, gross.

10.) Having over 100 pictures of my fake child, in my camera roll is completely normal.- Having over 100 pictures of my nanny child, in my camera roll, is completely normal. when I face the dreaded "cannot take photo" blurb that appears, I know I have entered mom life. He may irritate me at times, but he is my sweet peach whom I have watched grow over the last year. So go ahead and laugh at the hundreds of picture I have of him. He is wonderful, even when he is ripping my hair out.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments