1. All of the freshmen trying to find their classes.

"Wait, where is that class again?" Hint: It's probably on the other side of campus.

2. Not being able to find a seat at the dining hall...because of all of the freshmen.

"Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me..." -trying to shove through the hoards of people waiting

3. Hoards of people dressed in their finest at about 8PM.

Are they going to a house party? To a frat house? The world may never know. But may they come back without having spilled their guts all over a bathroom floor.

4. For syllabus week to be the easiest week of the semester.

it's like the professor can sense that there aren't freshmen in the class and therefore know to assign homework that first week.

5. To stick to that gym routine you made and vowed to stick to.

What else is going to be full? The gym. Because everyone else has vowed to work out too. Don't worry, it'll be empty by the third week.

6. To make a ton of new friends on top of the ones you made during the last year. Turns out

Turns out that no one opens their doors other than to walk into and out of their rooms. So much for making another group of friends.

7. To join all of the clubs you planned to be in last year - and stay in them.

All of those clubs are too far from each other. And not all of them are useful for your resume, either. Who needs them?

8. To eat three meals a day, seven days a week.

I ate a carrot stick. That was a meal. And then I'm going to eat a celery stick later. Is that another meal?

9. To get run over by someone who isn't walking.

Is it the Tour de France, or just a bunch of people on longboards passing you at the same time?

10. For it to be a good year.

It looked like a good schedule on paper. In class, not so much...