It's Easter weekend and all of your friends are home with their families wearing pastel outfits eating chocolate bunnies. You, on the other hand, are laying in bed hungover wondering why the website of your favorite brunch spot says they are closed. Sound familiar? Here are ten signs you are a Jew on Easter:
1. All of your friends are gone.
All of your friends went home to see their families this weekend and you're still stuck on campus. To make matters worse, there is nothing to do while you're stuck on campus because, again, everyone is gone.
2. You forgot most brunch places are closed.
You pulled up, very hungover, to get Sunday morning brunch not realizing all of your favorite brunch places are closed.
3. The Easter Bunny kind of creeps you out.
How cute? Real bunnies are cute, but the beating eyes of the Easter Bunny haunts your dreams.
4. You get annoyed when people complain about not having Easter Break.
HELLO there is no break for Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Passover, or Chanukah (unless it falls over Christmas time). Deal with it.
5. You don't like peeps.
They're sugar coated marshmallows that stick to your mouth. Where is the appeal?
6. All of your friends get Easter baskets and you're still eating hamentaschen from Purim.
While chocolate bunnies are quite delicious, nothing beats a raspberry filled hamentaschen from Bubbie.
7. You don't understand the excuse to dress as a bunny to a party.
Easter is a conservative, holy holiday. Dressing as a bunny is still slutty even if it is to honor Easter.
8. You crave eggs for a week.
There are eggs everywhere! Every time you turn the corner you have a craving for eggs.
9. You're confused when people look really nice on Sunday morning.
You walk outside in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, not yet having showered to find people in nice outfits on the way to church. Back to bed!
10. The pastel colors confuse you.
Holidays to you typically mean dressing in dark colors and going to synagogue. You have never associated pastel colors with a holy holiday, but hey, they are really pretty.