Tell People How You Feel, Even If You're Afraid Of Confrontation

Tell People How You Feel, Even If You're Afraid Of Confrontation

Confrontation is never easy, but, done right, it's always worth your while.

I am outspoken, perhaps a little too much. If you upset me, I’ll tell you. If I love you, I’ll tell you. If I don’t like you, well, maybe I won’t tell you, but I’m for sure not going to pretend to be your best friend.

Sometimes, being so outspoken can be a challenge, especially when it comes to telling people when you’re upset. When I was younger, I always allowed people to walk all over me, I was so afraid of people being mad at me and of losing them that I would bite my tongue.

Keeping it all in never made things any easier and never solved the problem. I chose to uncomfortably disregard those feelings I had, and carry on with my normal life.

It seemed easy at the time and being young, it was simple to forget the small things like someone calling me stupid or my mom not letting me stay up past ten. Once I got older, I realized it wasn’t so easy to just let things go. It’s the sad fact of life that things just progressively become more serious, with greater implications.

The tricky part is deciding what isn’t worth bringing up and what should be brought up.

The balance between the two is hard and there is rarely a strict delineation. Emotions often get in the way of deciphering big from small, purposeful from accidental, malicious from not.

So my rule of thumb is this: for small things, if it’s been bothering me, I say something. A first offense shouldn’t be treated as the end all be all, stay optimistic. If it becomes a persistent issue, the bothersome feeling you get isn’t just going to subside. You shouldn’t have to get used to something that’s irritating.

For big things, confront the issue head-on. Do NOT allow someone to take advantage of you.

Obviously, you have to find your own medium. I am far from perfect, still allowing people to use me or not confronting what needs to be, which nine out of ten times results in an unnecessary blow-up. It all depends on what you can or cannot handle.

All that said, the gnawing feeling one gets when continually being troubled is far worse than the feeling one gets when confronting their problems. I, for one, get a heinous stomach ache and repeatedly admonish myself for having been so stupid as to bring the issue up, and can still confidently say I prefer this immediate discomfort over the prolonged irritation of holding an issue inside.

Once the problem is resolved, whether in an apology, a suggestion to fix it, or the clarity that the other party does not care (or simply never takes the step to change things), you no longer have to worry about it. If the latter happens, sure, it hurts, but on the bright side, you no longer have to worry over what’s been bothering you and you now know that person has no place in your life.

Anyone who refuses a quick fix to make you happier does not have any reason to be allowed in your life.

Telling someone how you feel, positive or negative, will always be a challenge. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is no small feat, and I applaud all of you who do so. As for those who do not, the act of taking matters into your own hands and opposing those who do you wrong will make you feel more empowered and bar that perpetual weight of worry. Do not fear the repercussion of speaking up, it’s better to have the consequence of doing than the regret of what could have been done.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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The Negative Effects Of Working As A CNA

You know you are a CNA if you are undermined, understaffed, and emotionally and physically drained.

I write this not as a way to deter people from wanting to be a CNA or to demean the job, but in order to outline the negatives, since some only outline the positives. With a job comes responsibility, and it is like that in any area or field. We have the good and we also have the bad. I am in a field where not many people like their job and they don't care who knows it. Others enjoy it and make the best of it. It is like that with any career. There are always both sides.

I write this after coming home from a meeting that we have to attend every week for 13 weeks straight. These meetings are preparing us for a new unit in our building, and they offer education so that we have the knowledge to communicate and take care of our residents. I like these meetings because I enjoy learning more in my field, however, others see it as a burden and a waste of their time. There are people who will bring in workplace drama, those that will do the bare minimum, and those that just don't care and will call in when they know their shift is short.

As a Certified Nurse Assistant, you help your residents, and you try to give them the best care that you can provide. That is the number one rule. If anything, that is the golden rule in nursing. When you step in on that floor, you are expected to give your full effort in giving the residents the care they need. Meanwhile, others step in and couldn't give a damn.

What upset me the most after the meeting was that we had to talk about abuse. We had to discuss what abuse was and why we need to treat our patients with dignity, respect, and kindness. As a CNA that is my work. I was saddened that something like this occurred, and that someone would demean a resident in a way that no one should be treated.

I'm furious, upset, and confused. The people that work in this field are there because they care, and they want to help those that cannot help themselves. So, why would they do such a thing?

It made me think of all the other negatives that I encounter in my field. The lack of appreciation from other staff and the constant undermining is tough. Nurses telling you that you are not doing your job right, or management becoming picky when you cannot chart between your residents is difficult. There is always something that you are doing wrong in someone else's eyes, and there is never a thank you when you leave your shift and everyone is clean and taken care of. There is no one to pat your back other than yourself, and you have to be your own cheerleader for a place that only looks at you as the lowest of the totem pole.

There are never enough of you. I say that because there is always a demand for CNAs, and no matter how many you have in a facility, there will never be enough. You will be short one shift or another, and you will have to scramble to reach everyone to make sure they are taken care of properly.

You come home and you have to go right back to bed because you took extra shifts. You are exhausted, and yet you still come in and put all your energy into work because you think of the residents. You consider what it would be like to not have anyone to care for you. You put them before yourself.

No one tells you any negatives as you are getting trained and go through clinicals. They only tell you that you are going into a profession that will help those that cannot help themselves, and that you should be proud of your job. It is not incorrect, but it is not fully true.

You will get called names, cursed at, abused, and you will get over-worked. No one will tell you thank you, and no one will baby you through your shift. You are a CNA. You take care of those that cannot take care of themselves. You are there to help and give care. Yes, there are negatives and you will want to quit like I've wanted to do multiple times. I will admit it. You will get upset and frustrated. This is not an easy job, and it was not intended to be, but you will get through it if you keep your heart open and honest. Do your work diligently, and do what you can to make others' lives better. That is the only reward you need to overcome the negatives.

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5 Reasons I'd Rather Stay In On A Friday Night

It's okay to not want to party over the weekend.


In college, so many people look forward to the weekend all week long. And by so many people, I mean probably almost everyone. The weekend is a time to catch up on some much-needed rest, relaxation, homework, and you time. The weekend in college also means going out for a lot of people. While yes, going out can be a really good time, I also think that it's important to note that you don't have to go out if you don't want to. There are a ton of good reasons why you should stay home for the weekend instead of partying all night long. I have compiled a list of five solid reasons why staying in is so much better than going out, especially in the middle of winter.

1. My room is so much warmer than it is outside 

Freezing Dan James Gif

Let's face it, in the dead of winter, no one wants to go outside in a mini skirt and crop top. I'll take my pillow and blanket any day over freezing outside.

2. I can go to sleep at a reasonable hour 

Stitch Sleeping Gif

After a long week of class, the last thing I want to do is stay up until 2 am partying. I would so much rather be wrapped up reading a book at 10 pm.

3. I'm always available if a friend needs saving 

Wonder Woman Gif

Staying home, sober, I'm always available to rescue a friend in need if they drink a little too much. This is so important to me to be keeping my friends safe and getting them back home at the end of the night.

4. It's the perfect time to binge watch Netflix 

One More Episode Gif

Staying home on a Friday night gives me uninterrupted hours of binge-watching my favorite shows. There's no better feeling than finally catching up on a new season of Netflix.

5. Self-care is more important than getting drunk 

Treat Yo Self Gif

Staying home, relaxing, doing a face mask or even reading a book allows for much needed relaxation. No one wants to stress about their hair and makeup on a Friday after you've finished 5 days of classes.

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