I would hate to be repetitive and reiterate the fact that technology has- in the minds of some- completely destroyed the concept of successful relationships and communication between two individuals. However, I feel it's necessary to address exactly why I believe this to be the case, and bring to your attention, gentle reader (most likely also millennial) why perhaps staying off your phone will result in better relationships.

A little while back, I wrote an article entitled, How Texting Is Ruining Relationships. The basis of this article was to articulate the fact that when you are interested in someone, you should build up the courage to get to know them in person, and not through some meaningless virtual interaction. However, what I neglected to address was the amount that individuals use technology once they are in a relationship, and how that technology may influence the outcome of said relationship. In other words, is texting a possible catalyst for the end of a relationship? And if so, how are we able to avoid this silent menace?

“Are you good with Chinese for dinner tonight?”

“Yeah, sounds good to me.”

“Great, I’ll text you when I’m picking it up.”

“Ok.”

“Ok….? What are you mad at me or something?”

I have never had this exact interaction with another individual, but I have certainly participated in conversations where I have responded something along the lines of “Ok” or “Great.” and been asked if I am mad, upset, or frustrated with the other person, and I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that. The biggest problem we face when it comes to texting is that there is no way to gauge the individuals tone of voice or level of sarcasm. What might be sent as a text to humor another individual could be taken extremely out of context as an aggressive insult. Similarly, what could be intended as a compliment towards one person might be received as an annoying paragraph-long text that now warrants a response to another. The bottom line is, texting does not make things black and white, but rather illuminates them in an extremely harmful gray light.

I often find myself wondering how my parents survived in a time when technology was not as prominent as it is today. I feel sorry for the hand-written college essays that they had to submit, and I wonder if they had an old-school version of platforms like Tinder (perhaps a graduation photo in the school newspaper?). Basically, whenever I think about the lack of technology that existed long before the world of Facebook, I find myself wondering if that put a strain on the success of relationships back then, as it would limit opportunities to communicate. Then, it hit me. Sure, our parents may not have had these social media platforms or the convenience of a text messages to communicate, but perhaps that’s why their relationships didn’t end after two weeks of dating.

Ben Parker may have been talking about his superhero nephew when he said, “With great power comes great responsibility,” but I think it's fair to say the same is true about technology. It might be easy and convenient to have texting available whenever we want it, but it also allows for an absurd amount of misunderstanding, which results in fights between the two individuals exchanging these messages. The power of technology has given individuals exactly that- power- and not in a way that is necessarily helpful or beneficial to our relationships.

If technology had been as significant in the times when courting was a must, I would bet that roughly 75% of couples wouldn’t have lasted. In today’s world, I have heard it all, from “He was literally snapchatting another girl when I was there” to “He liked her Instagram the other day”, and my personal favorite, “Dude, trust me, she’s pissed, she said ‘ok.’”. We need to find a way to get our heads out of the gutter and stop allowing technology to dictate our relationships. Ideally, it would be as simple as technology becoming a less prominent aspect of everyday life, but that would merely be wishful thinking.

For now, all we can do is try to value the amount of in-person communication that takes place and try our best not to let those little interactions with technology control our lives. Still, I understand that for some this may be challenging so here is my advice:

To those women who cannot stand your boyfriends snapchatting other women, or men who are driven crazy by the simple “Ok” text responses, remember that you have chosen to make technology a part of your life, and perhaps maybe if you cut it out, you would be much happier?

But hey, a world without Instagram probably isn’t a world worth living in anyways, right?