5 Phrases I Wish My Dogs Could Understand

5 Phrases I Wish My Dogs Could Understand

Some they don't understand, and others they probably just ignore.

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I ramble to my dogs all the time, but how much do they actually understand? Definitely not enough. Here are a few phrases I wish they understood most of all.

1. "Don't eat that"

Please eat your dog food, and leave the poor birds alone.

2. "You're so cute"

I tell them how adorable they are all the time, but I doubt that they understand what they praise is for.

3. "Come"

I should probably take this one back. They definitely understand this one, but on the rare occasion that they manage to run away, the word "come" is meaningless to them.

4. "Bless you"

This is a random one, but I always say "bless you" when they sneeze. Sometimes I wonder what they think I'm trying to tell them.

"I love you"

All pet owners surely relate. Nevertheless, while they may not understand the words you say, they know exactly how you feel.

Cover Image Credit:

Marly McNeal

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right
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In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" "huh...Judas..no"

31. "Sleep? I don't know about sleep...it's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"


35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?


39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"


I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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Forget Invisibility, I Wish For These 5 Superpowers Instead

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

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We've all been asked the question "If you could have any superpower, what would it be?" The typical answers include being able to fly, read minds, or be invisible. These basic abilities would be great to have, however, there are so many other better abilities that people never choose. Imagine the thing you hate doing most, whether it's getting ready, going to the gym, studying, etc. Now imagine being able to have the benefits of that thing without doing actually doing it. That's the superpower you should choose to have. I live a pretty great life, but if I had it my way, I would have at least one of these five superpowers.

1. The ability to eat all you want without gaining any weight

For many, weight is a struggle. We like food and don't like spending hours at the gym to work that it off. Imagine a world in which you could eat all you want and still have that amazing bikini body. It would save so much time and would let food become something that's not stressful, but enjoyable. That's a world I want to live in.

2. The ability to go anywhere you want automatically

Also called teleportation, this superpower can be a common one. However, it is one of the best superpowers out there. Think of how much time we spend driving cars, sitting in traffic, or flying in planes. With this superpower, we would be free to use this time to do other, more important things. I firmly believe that if teleportation existed, cancer would be cured by now. We would also be able to pop over to another country for a day and that's just awesome.

3. The ability to get anything you want for free

I realize that material things don't bring happiness, and I don't think I would want every expensive thing in the world. However, I do think I'd want this superpower. Imagine being able to try new clothes or products that you're curious about without having to pay for them. You could always have an updated wardrobe with today's trends and you could have unlimited access to all the supplies you need to follow your passion.

4. The ability to change your mood automatically

This isn't a superpower I necessarily want. However, it's a superpower I and a lot of other people need. I am an emotional person. Good and bad, I take things people say to heart and I think about them for way too long. This superpower would allow me and others like me to be able to snap out of sadness or anger in an instant and go straight back to being happy. It would make this world a much easier place to live in.

5. The ability to snap your fingers and be ready for the day

I do like picking out my outfits and doing my hair and makeup, but I don't like how long it takes me to get ready. I love to sleep, so the thought of being able to sleep in until the last possible second and still be able to look completely put together for the day is an amazing one. I also like to think I would look better in this scenario since my stylist is, you know, magic.

These superpowers would make life so much easier. Too bad they don't exist. Even though we want to, there's no way to avoid going to the gym, feeling emotions, and getting ready. Looks like we'll have to deal with our first world problems ourselves for now.

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