“Yeah, it’s happened to me, but it happens to everyone, right?” she says with a smile, not to make the people around her uncomfortable. “Next time I won't drink as much,” making it seem like it taught her some sort of life lesson because in some screwed up world it’s her fault. Because it happens to everyone, right?
We have become desensitized. We are unknowing. We are ashamed. We are forgotten… or at least we try to forget, but she will never forget the day she woke up to find a used condom on her bathroom floor, the bruises crawling up her thighs. She will never forget the day she screamed “NO” on deaf ears, no matter how hard she tries to suppress this trauma. Keeping it inside is what will kill you.
You cannot pretend that it doesn’t exist or it never happened because it did and you are now stronger for it. Nothing can change the fact that he decided you were worth taking from, or that it didn’t matter what you wanted or didn’t want. He took from you want you couldn’t control and it’s up to you now to gain back what you lost.
We are beginning to approach a time of change. We are stepping out of the shadows of ignorance and coming out the other side stronger than ever. Over the past few weeks, the #metoo epidemic has swooped the internet. Women are coming out to talk about their sexual assault and make it known that others that they are not alone. These individuals have displayed the skeletons in their closets for the all to take notice so that others understand the severity of this pandemic of social strife.
Up until now sexual assault remained un-talked about and a cause to be ashamed, but it seems that the door has opened up for discussion.
It has been inspirational to see many women come out and talk about something they have likely suppressed for years, but not all women have been able to open up to the public in this way, and that is understandable. The point of this movement is not to publicly shame or praise the victims of sexual assault, but to raise awareness for the fact that it is something that exists and is common.
The goal is to get people talking about it, and for articles like this to be written, to remind you that you are not alone.
One in every 5 women are sexually assaulted while in college. Let that sink in. That means that one in every 5 of the women in your class, sitting in the library, walking next to you or even yourself have been sexually assaulted. We as a society, and as a college community, have been desensitized to sexual assault.
Over 90% of all sexual assaults go unreported and only 2% of sexual assaulters will ever spend a night in jail as seen in the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.
Only one night. This is not a matter that can be overlooked.
When you go out and someone grabs you without consent, and when you say “no” but all they hear is “not right now, try again,” that is not okay. Where’s the miscommunication you ask? There is none. No means no and alcohol or anything that has you under the influence is not an excuse for you to try to force yourself on someone.
This is so commonplace that it is likely that more than half of the women you know have admitted their sexual assault, and the others don't know the difference between assault and consent. However, these women cannot be blamed. They live in an era that has belittled their trauma and placed just a slap on the wrist for those who take it too far. They have been told that it “happens to everyone” time and time again.
Talking about it gives you the power and control you’ve lost. Do not misunderstand me, it does not have to be in the form of a public display on social media or by a police report, talk to someone you trust or to one of the many resources on campus such as the Victim Advocate Program that can go through your options with you. It is completely confidential and on call for twenty-four hours to the Florida State student community (850-644-7161 or can be located at University Center A, Suite 4100, Tallahassee, FL 32306-2440, https://dos.fsu.edu/vap/ ).
For non-Florida State Students, because this issue stretches farther than this campus, there are other options as well that can be used if you have been a survivor of sexual assault such as a hotline from the organization called RAINN (800-656-HOPE [4673], website https://www.rainn.org ).
RAINN is another confidential line that provides an outlet for you to discuss this trauma with someone trained to understand what you are going through and guide you through the process of healing. They also have this great live chat that if you can’t say it out loud, you still have a medium where you can discuss it privately and at your convenience.
Rape and sexual assault have been taboo for too long in the line of discussions but this is where we open more forums to talk about it and make way for more than just deliberations but movements of social change that do not allow for these occurrences to take place. Let us not allow rape culture to become commonplace and let’s talk about consent.All statistics were taken from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center